465: When Your Spicy Child Takes All Your Energy (And What That Means for Their Siblings) // Mary Van Geffen

465: When Your Spicy Child Takes All Your Energy (And What That Means for Their Siblings) // Mary Van Geffen

Author: Cloud10 January 26, 2026 Duration: 43:07
If you have a strong-willed child, you know how much energy they require—and if you have other kids too, you've probably wondered what this dynamic is doing to their siblings. Are they getting lost in the shuffle? Will they resent their brother or sister? Will they resent you? Many parents worry that their quieter child is fading into the background while the spicy one commands all the attention. And even though you're doing your best, it's hard to know how to protect all your kids when one requires so much more support. In this week's episode, I talked with Mary Van Geffen, author of the brand new book Parenting A Spicy One: Raising a Strong-Willed Child Without Breaking Their Spirit or Yours. Mary brings both personal experience as a former spicy child herself and professional expertise as a parenting educator, and she teaches us how to navigate sibling relationships in a way that protects everyone—including the child you might not realize needs protecting. In this episode, you'll learn: 🌶️ Why your "easy" child might be protecting you from their own needs (and what that quietly costs them as they grow up) 🌶️ What your spicy child secretly believes about themselves and their "perfect" sibling—and how it's hurting them both 🌶️ The Home Alone truth about strong-willed kids that changes everything (yes, Kevin McCallister is a spicy one, and we can learn from him) Whether you have a spicy child or not, this conversation will shift how you think about sibling conflict and what it actually takes to protect the relationships between your kids. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: If you're raising a spicy child and want help finding the joy in those big personalities, the Flecks of Gold Journal helps you notice and celebrate what's going right—even on the hard days. Use code 3in30 for 10% off! Related Episodes: 440: How to Parent Strong-Willed Children Without Breaking Their Spirit // Mary Van Geffen 452: You Yelled... Now What? How to Repair and Reconnect // Devon Kuntzman 332: How to Delight in Your Difficult Child Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. Laundry Sauce: For a limited time only, my listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use code 3in30 at LaundrySauce.com. Skylight Calendar: Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15-inch calendars by going to MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course ***

Motherhood often feels like a constant juggling act, leaving little time for lengthy advice or complicated strategies. That’s the exact gap that 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms fills. Each episode is built on a simple, powerful premise: delivering three practical, doable takeaways within a half-hour. Host Rachel Nielson, who brings her perspective as a mother, teacher, and writer, understands that a busy parent’s brain is already full. She curates conversations and shares insights that cut straight to what’s useful, focusing on real-world application over theory. You’ll hear discussions rooted in the daily realities of family life, covering everything from educational activities for kids and navigating family dynamics to personal well-being amidst the beautiful chaos. This isn’t about adding more to your to-do list, but about finding smarter, more peaceful ways to manage what’s already there. The tone is consistently encouraging, aiming to replace overwhelm with a sense of capability and even magic. Tuning into this podcast feels like a coffee chat with a knowledgeable friend who leaves you with clear, actionable steps-not just more noise. It’s a resource for any mom looking to gather concrete ideas for parenting, personal growth, and creating a more harmonious home, all within the span of a daily commute or a folded laundry pile.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms
Podcast Episodes
448: Join our Team! A Word from the SAM Sisters [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 33:48
Do the ups and downs of parenting ever feel like a solo sport? You may have friends who love you, but when it comes to really opening up about your struggles and growth as a mother, do you feel like you have teammates—wo…
447: What Parents in Disney Movies Got Wrong [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 37:52
Have you ever noticed that some of the parents in Disney movies…aren’t exactly the best role models? They love their kids deeply, but their fears, expectations, and blind spots often get in the way of connection. As I re…
446: Is Perfectionism Good or Bad? // Katherine Morgan Schafler [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 37:19
Have you ever been told that your perfectionism is a problem? Maybe you’ve felt like it’s the reason you’re stressed, restless, or never satisfied with yourself. But what if perfectionism isn’t actually the enemy? What i…
444: The Four Tendencies in Motherhood // Sarah Joslin [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 39:39
Have you ever wondered why it’s so hard to stick to goals that matter to you, but you can follow through easily when someone else is counting on you? Or why one of your children seems to resist every rule, while another…
443: Feeding Your Family without Losing Your Mind // Celeste Noland [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:15
As school routines settle back in, many moms start looking for a better rhythm with meals—something that feels less chaotic and more doable. But for many moms (myself included), feeding a family brings up more stress tha…
441: The 4 Types of Self-Care Every Mom Needs // Mia Hemstad [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 41:25
We talk a lot about self-care as moms, but most of the time, the examples we’re given (bubble baths, massages, solo Target runs) only scratch the surface. The truth is, there’s not one kind of self-care. There are actual…
440: Tools for Parenting a "Spicy" Child // Mary Van Geffen [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:03
Oh, the stories I could tell about raising a strong-willed child. But the truth is, if you have a spicy one of your own, you don’t need to hear my stories because you’ve got plenty of your own! Parenting an intense, pers…
439: 3 Secrets for Calmer, Happier Kids // Ralphie Jacobs [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 35:49
Ever found yourself stuck in a cycle of constant correction, nagging, lecturing, or repeating yourself while your kids seem to tune you out? It happens to almost every parent at some point. In the moment, it can feel lik…