Joanne Redding tells her story of suffering heartbreaking loss at the age six and the years of neglect and damage that followed. Hours after her father went missing, the doorbell finally rang. Her mother thanked the police officer and then shared the news with Joanne and her two siblings, Thomas, age eight, and Peggy, twelve: “Your father was driving across the bridge and had a car accident. He is dead.” Her voice was flat. She shed no tears. And she offered no comfort to her three children—not then, not ever. A few days later, Joanne’s childhood truly ended. Her mother sat Joanne down on the living room couch, cleared her throat, and said, matter-of-factly: “From now on, you’re going to have to take care of yourself.”
What did Ma mean? As time passed, Joanne figured out that taking care of herself meant making sure she ate, bathed, picked out her own clothes, did her homework, brushed the tangles from her own hair, and no longer expected to be tucked in or hugged. But there was more, and it was harder. Gradually, Joanne learned to silence the ache for a word of reassurance, guidance, explanation, or recognition from her mother. Silence became her family’s language. Written with raw honesty, HOUSE OF PRETEND follows Joanne as she makes her own way out of her mother’s house and into the testosterone-fueled world of Wall Street in the 1980s. She works hard to earn a seat at the table, with her voice still being ignored, and continues her pattern of relationships with older, unavailable men. When her boss offers her a million dollars to have his baby, it’s a wake-up call. To move on with her life, Joanne needs to stop searching for a father figure, believe in her own worth, and speak up. But first, she has to reclaim her voice. And that requires coming to terms with how and why she lost it.
How did her father really die? What drove her mother to shut down, never speak of her husband, and push her children away? Was Joanne a survivor of child abuse? The answers are complicated and intertwined with grief, shame, pride, religious dogma, social stigma, and mental illness.Eventually, Joanne Redding rises above her past, breaks free of toxic patterns, finds a fulfilling career, and becomes a mother who places a priority on talking with and listening to her son and daughter.
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