Egolessness, Self-Kindness & the Buddhist Enneagram

Egolessness, Self-Kindness & the Buddhist Enneagram

Author: Susan Piver June 27, 2025 Duration: 27:31

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In this episode, I explore the tension between spiritual teachings on egolessness and the deeply personal need for self-understanding. I talk about how meditation reveals both the illusion of self and the reality of who we are. I also share how the Enneagram—a system of personality types—has been an invaluable tool for fostering compassion and clarity in myself and my relationships.

Highlights:

1. The Problem with Egolessness

  • Teachings on “no self” can feel like a shaming of personal identity.


  • Meditation helps us see both our egoless nature and our genuine self.

2. Meditation as Friendship with Self

  • Encourages self-awareness and emotional honesty.

3. The Enneagram as a Spiritual Tool

  • Describes 9 personality types; not limiting but illuminating.


  • Helps identify personal patterns and build self-compassion.


  • Integrated with Buddhist values like loving-kindness.

4. Three Enneagram Frameworks to Understand Yourself and Others

  • Centers of Intelligence:

    • Mental: Thinkers → anxiety under stress.


    • Gut: Intuitive types → anger under stress.


    • Heart: Emotional types → neediness or withdrawal under stress.

  • Instinctual Drives:

    • Self-preservation: Focused on safety and comfort.


    • Social: Motivated by group belonging.


    • One-to-One: Seeks deep personal connection.

  • Stress Responses (Karen Horney’s model):

    • Toward: Seeks harmony.


    • Against: Confronts conflict.


    • Away: Withdraws from tension.

Understanding your own wiring—how you think, feel, relate, and react—is not a detour from spiritual growth, but part of its foundation. Tools like the Enneagram, when combined with meditation, become powerful aids in cultivating compassion for yourself and others. True spiritual insight begins with self-acceptance.

For more on the enneagram from a Buddhist perspective, check out my book, The Buddhist Enneagram: Nine Paths to Warriorship.


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Produced by Citizens of Sound

Music by: Derek O'Brien

©Open Heart Project 


In Buddhism Beyond Belief with Susan Piver, ancient wisdom meets the messy reality of modern living. Susan Piver, drawing from three decades as a student of Tibetan Buddhism and her experience guiding the nearly 20,000-member Open Heart Project meditation community, acts as a thoughtful companion rather than a distant teacher. This isn't about scholarly lectures; it's a conversation. You'll hear explorations of foundational concepts-the four noble truths, the six paramitas, and more-but always through the lens of direct, personal application. The focus is on how these teachings can resonate in the middle of a busy workday, within complex relationships, or during moments of quiet doubt. Each episode of this podcast feels like a genuine discussion about integrating contemplative practice into all aspects of life, from physical health and spiritual curiosity to navigating everyday stress. The aim is to move past doctrine and into direct experience, offering practical insights for cultivating resilience, compassion, and a sense of groundedness. Whether you're well-versed in Buddhist thought or simply curious about a more mindful approach to fitness, health, and personal growth, Susan's guidance is both accessible and deeply authentic. Tune in for a perspective that values lived understanding over belief, creating space for clarity and an open heart amid the noise.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 52

Buddhism Beyond Belief with Susan Piver
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