Chart Music #77: December 27th 1971: Six Tins Of Bachelors Peas

The latest episode of the podcast which asks; Tango or Telstar?

Yes, it’s that time of the year, Pop-Crazed Youngsters – we decide to do a Christmas episode, and then Christmas happens and gets in the way of everything, the bastard. Luckily, this episode – from Boxing Day – comes from a time when they did the festivities properly and didn’t hang it out like we do, so there’s very little in the way of tinsel and fake snow and turkey carcasses (and yes, it is Boxing Day, they did things differently then, don’t @ us). It’s from 1971, the Year Zero of the post-Beatle world, where a void suddenly opens and is immediately filled with an array of Sixties sorts who never got a look-in before and are making their grab for the big brass ring of Pop stardom. 

Tony Blackburn – the host of the Daily Mirror Hot Pants Ball himself – is at the controls in his belted-off cardie, and it’s safe to say that 1971 is his most Blackburny year ever. We take you through it, from the highs of debating the merits of wank mags with Lord Longford and having his own board game to the lows of having his photo ripped up by Bristol Prog bands and being stalked by the Heavy Music Brigade.

Musicwise, it’s a fascinating trawl through the post-Mopfab landscape. Marc Bolan assumes his dominance in front of a floor manager who looks well Bullet Baxter. The Tams look like John Inman if he supported FC Barcelona. Benny Hill airs the Xmas #1 again. Slade take one massive stomp for a band, one giant leap for Glamkind. Pans People get out of quarantine and flounce about for Liverpool Jesus. The Stones ensure that every wedding do of the next 15 years will feature Dads dancing to one of the most brutal songs ever. Eight Ace and the Paedophile Information Exchange Horns celebrate their one hit for the last time on telly. We get to witness Diana Ross’s Armchair Thriller. And John Peel stares at the camera with a mandolin in his hands. 

Taylor Parkes and David Stubbs join Al Needham for a complete evisceration of the Sounds of ‘71, veering off on such tangents as the dangers of having a Raleigh Chopper in Leeds that was Flamboyant Green, a detailed breakdown of Tony Blackburn’s weekly shopping list, Britain’s Grooviest Granny, Rod Stewart’s Whole Lotta Rosie moment, and John, Paul, George or Ringo: who’s getting it first, lads? DO IT WHILE YOU’RE STILL YOUNG, POP-CRAZED YOUNGSTERS!     

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