Finding calm in chaos -- theirs

Finding calm in chaos -- theirs

Author: Jane Beddall April 24, 2025 Duration: 3:57

Last time, I talked about how each of us can find different methods for calming our own emotions. I have talked before about thinking through how to support the other person engaged with you in a challenging conversation to be their best self. Just like you, -- it’s true for all of us – they will be better able to analyze the situation and to make better decisions when they are calm.

So, what do you do about it? What you don’t do is tell them to be calm. More likely to irritate than soothe.  What do you do?

First, be sensitive to the idea that they may have their own practices for calming themselves.

Next, be open to accommodating their calming practices as much as you are able. Not only can that willingness help them in that moment to better engage with you, that gesture can help the relationship itself. And the stronger the relationship, the more commitment people can have to handling inevitable disagreements that will pop up in the future.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/


In a world where disagreements often feel like dead ends, Crafting Solutions to Conflict offers a different path-one built on practical tools and a genuinely constructive mindset. Hosted by Jane Beddall, whose background in both law and mediation brings a unique depth to the conversation, this podcast moves beyond theory to the everyday realities of navigating tension. You’ll hear discussions that reframe conflict not as something to dread, but as a potential catalyst for stronger connections and better outcomes, whether at home, in the workplace, or within your community. Each episode feels like a thoughtful dialogue, unpacking familiar yet challenging concepts. Jane guides listeners through ideas like addressing the ‘elephants in the room,’ finding ways to ‘expand the pie’ for mutual gain, and understanding why ‘cookie-cutter’ solutions often fall short. The focus is consistently on preserving valued relationships by preventing unnecessary damage and resolving issues that do arise with clarity and respect. Tuning into this podcast provides more than just advice; it’s an ongoing exploration of how to build and restore harmony through intentional communication. If you’re looking for actionable perspectives that blend wisdom from the realms of society, business, and personal growth, you’ll find a trusted resource here.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Crafting Solutions to Conflict
Podcast Episodes
Keeping the dis out of disagreement [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 3:40
One of my favorite new words is, of all things, disrespect, used as a verb. It’s not the same as a mere lack of respect. It’s more intense, more direct, and … more offensive. We can feel disrespected when that wasn’t the…
Finding calm in chaos - yours [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 3:26
I thank Cinnie Noble, who created the CINERGY conflict management model in which I am certified, for sparking this idea. In her most recent talk with certified coaches, Cinnie reminded us about the importance of allowing…
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In my latest three solo episodes, I’ve talked about watching our spoken language, our facial and body language, and our written language. Often, we will have a choice about what mode of communication to pursue. It’s wort…
Episode 327: Watch your (written) language [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:09
We can carefully draft a message, set it aside, and then calmly review it to determine whether we like how it reads to someone receiving it. Because that is the point, isn’t it? Our own satisfaction with our wordsmithing…
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Duration: 29:06
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Watch your (body and facial) language [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:42
Last time, I talked about spoken language. This time it’s body language and facial language. You have likely heard that a very large percentage of our communication is not spoken. Some slips are things you know you shoul…
Watch your (spoken) language [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 3:56
Without much thought, we can use words and phrases that subtly or strongly convey meaning – and do unnecessary harm. A” blended family” is more positive than a “stepfamily”. “Always” and “never” are words that frequently…
Emily Bouchard on helping blended families flourish [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 27:37
Emily Bouchard combines her academic learning, professional experience, and personal awareness to serve blended families. We talk about reframing stepfamilies to blended families, ex-partners to former partners, and bonu…