The problem with perceptions

The problem with perceptions

Author: Jane Beddall June 6, 2024 Duration: 4:46

My perceptions are mine and yours are yours. Nothing will change that fundamental fact. Our perceptions are – logically and inevitably – deeply affected by our experiences, assumptions, and expectations. When we see important things in deeply different ways, we have options. We can take a more positive approach.

First, we can recognize and accept that we have different perceptions. Second, we can work to avoid the risk of damage to the relationship that comes with immediately assuming that our perception is necessarily better in some way than the other person’s. Third, we can be open to more deeply understanding the other person’s perceptions.

We may find that one or both of us can be influenced by new information and more easily value other viewpoints. We may start to see things a little differently. Even if we don’t, we can move toward respect that these varied perceptions are present, they are unique, and they will have a vital role to play in whether disagreements become creative, good conflict or damaging, bad conflict. 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 


In a world where disagreements often feel like dead ends, Crafting Solutions to Conflict offers a different path-one built on practical tools and a genuinely constructive mindset. Hosted by Jane Beddall, whose background in both law and mediation brings a unique depth to the conversation, this podcast moves beyond theory to the everyday realities of navigating tension. You’ll hear discussions that reframe conflict not as something to dread, but as a potential catalyst for stronger connections and better outcomes, whether at home, in the workplace, or within your community. Each episode feels like a thoughtful dialogue, unpacking familiar yet challenging concepts. Jane guides listeners through ideas like addressing the ‘elephants in the room,’ finding ways to ‘expand the pie’ for mutual gain, and understanding why ‘cookie-cutter’ solutions often fall short. The focus is consistently on preserving valued relationships by preventing unnecessary damage and resolving issues that do arise with clarity and respect. Tuning into this podcast provides more than just advice; it’s an ongoing exploration of how to build and restore harmony through intentional communication. If you’re looking for actionable perspectives that blend wisdom from the realms of society, business, and personal growth, you’ll find a trusted resource here.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Crafting Solutions to Conflict
Podcast Episodes
The Buddha’s response to rude or angry criticism [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:21
In the story of the Angry Man, the Buddha illustrates how to disarm criticism based or anger or rudeness. A young man came to insult the Buddha, but the Buddha did not become angry or insulted. Instead, he calmly asked t…
Sam Osborne on beating the imposter syndrome [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:13
Sam Osborne joins me today. We talk about his book, How to Beat the Imposter Syndrome and Be Confident. We discuss the need to know your own values, how to deal with criticism positively, and how to believe in yourself w…
Mediation's beautiful flexibility [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:42
The mediation process can be tailored to the needs of the participants and the mediator. In fact, the process can evolve a bit over the course of multiple mediation sessions.The process can be focused on a very specific,…
350 weekly episodes -- and counting [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:37
When I started way back in January of 2019, conventional wisdom was that most podcasts die out after seven episodes. Now, over six years later, 90% of podcasts don’t make it past three episodes. They say that’s largely d…
Evaluative, facilitative, transformative: three types of mediation [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 5:22
In mediation, an impartial person helps the people involved to reach an agreement that works for them. Mediation is often said to consist of three main types.Some mediators stick quite closely to one approach. Others fee…
And then you get ready to pivot [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:13
Last time, I talked about the virtue of making a plan. The situation isn’t good. Bad conflict is brewing. You have decided that it’s time for a chat.You want this chat to be productive. So how do you set up for success?…
First you make a plan [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:27
Let’s imagine for a moment that you have decided that it’s time for a conversation, chat, or discussion.One way to work through the set-up is to break it down. Why? Who? When? How? Where? What? Giving careful thought to…
Conversations, chats, discussions… [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:23
We send a message by the language we use. In my work, some people don’t want to engage in mediation because they feel the connotation is too negative. But they are comfortable with the idea that I would be that trained,…
Chuck Wisner on The Art of Conscious Conversations [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:06
Chuck Wisner joins me to talk about his book, The Art of Conscious Conversations: Transforming how we talk, listen, and interact. We discuss four conversations that help us become conscious of our internal and external d…