332: Ever gone into freeze? Here’s what’s actually going on. (ft. Stacy Matulis)

If you've ever felt anxious around a woman you were attracted to, gone rigid when you tried to flirt, or completely shut down during a fight with your partner, you know what it is to go into freeze.

When we're overwhelmed, we can lock up. This is inconvenient if what you really want to do in that moment is to move, get someone's number, or speak up for yourself during a moment of tension with your spouse or in a meeting at work.

Where does this behavior come from? Why did it develop? What do we do about it that actually works?

Here, somatic practitioner and expert Stacy Matulis breaks down what's actually going on in your nervous system when you freeze, and what to do about it. (Hint: No one is an island, and we need others. We are interdependent.)

We also cover the difference between freeze and disassociation, depression and suicidality, and why it can feel like even after years of doing the work, you're still stuck in some ways.

Going into a freeze state will absolutely impact your sex, dating and relationship life. Fortunately, there's a way through.

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Work with us

Want to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.

To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

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Mentioned on this episode:

• DM 196: The “invisible” relationship pattern that can affect everything (childhood neglect)

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Memorable quotes from this episode:

• “I felt neutered as a human.”
• “When we grew up without safe others, we can learn that there are no safe others.”
• “What would bring me into a life that I wanted to live?”
• “Attunement is just as much an essential need as food and shelter is.”
• “Your feelings and needs are all right with me.”
• “A traumatized brain is programmed to look for the problem, and stay focused on the difficult energy.”
• “Who I am makes love go away.”