367: 'For some reason, I tend to attract "projects."' (ft. Jason Lange)

367: 'For some reason, I tend to attract "projects."' (ft. Jason Lange)

Author: Melanie Curtin June 27, 2025 Duration: 48:12

Have you got a history of partnering with women who are physically or emotionally unstable? Maybe they've got an insecure living situation (or chaotic/dangerous ex-partner). Perhaps they're financially challenged, or they've got serious issues with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues.

You may even have been with a partner who became so emotionally dependent on you that you became concerned that if you weren't there, she'd be in serious trouble -- might even hurt or kill herself. As Jason puts it, "If I remove myself from the situation, I don’t know how my partner would survive."

This episode is actually not about those women! ;) This episode is about the other side -- you.

If you've wondered why you've repeated this pattern of attracting "projects," you've come to the right place. Here we break down what goes into the pattern of attracting women you feel you need to "save" or "rescue." We talk about the vulnerability involved in dating healthier women, as well as the immense payoff -- and how to get there.

This episode will also resonate if you've ever felt burdened or resentful in your relationship -- like you're doing way more than your partner, and putting in more than you're getting back. We talk about the pain of feeling used ... and what to do about it.

---

Work with us

Want to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good. If you're looking for high-quality relationship advice, we've got it.

To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

---

Memorable quotes from this episode:

  • “There’s a type of security, safety, and polarity that comes from being the hero.”
  • “If I’m doing stuff for you and you appreciate that, I get to feel good about myself.”
  • “Just because you need some kind of help doesn’t mean I have to rescue you.”
  • “When we overextend, we attract partners who don’t have a sense of boundaries.”
  • “I know and trust she can handle herself.”
  • “We are co-creating together, rather than one of us pulling the cart the whole time.”
  •  “When we’re not getting energy back as men, resentment builds like crazy.”
  • “If I’m not winning, are you still going to love me?”
  • “Get on a growth path.”
  • “Getting into good community with men is inoculating yourself against future projects.”
  • “I don’t want to do all the heavy lifting.”

Melanie Curtin hosts Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women, a space where curiosity meets practical change. This isn't about memorizing pick-up lines or playing games; it's built on the idea that genuine personal growth is the most attractive quality a man can develop. The conversations here move beyond surface-level tips to explore the deeper dynamics of connection, drawing from insights across health, culture, and psychology. You'll hear from women who offer a candid look into what fosters real attraction and lasting partnership, providing a valuable perspective often missing from mainstream advice. Each episode tackles the honest questions and challenges men face, whether navigating early dating, deepening intimacy, or building a resilient marriage. The focus is always on actionable understanding-how to listen, communicate, and show up in ways that are both authentic and effective. Tune in for a podcast that respects your intelligence and meets you where you are, offering a blend of straightforward talk and nuanced discussion that can reshape how you approach every aspect of your life with women. It's for any man ready to move past confusion and toward more meaningful, fulfilling connections.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women
Podcast Episodes
369: GuyTalk: Setting healthy boundaries with parents [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:47:57
Did you have healthy boundaries modeled for you when you were growing up? Do you feel like you know how to set healthy boundaries with your folks?If not, then some of these things may apply:You felt like (or continue to…
368: Can a live retreat change everything? (ft. Jason Lange) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 55:08
When Jason was in his mid-20s, he was stuck. He numbed out with porn much of the time, had never had sex, and struggled with dating and love relationship.Even outside of dating, it felt like something was missing in his…
366: Love can, in fact, be calculated. (ft. Zoey Charif) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:00:05
Have you ever wished you could scientifically determine what’s wrong in your relationship? Or felt it would be helpful to somehow mathematically see how compatible you are with someone you’re dating? Or gone through a di…
362: From skeptic to believer (ft. Naushad Godrej) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:24:06
Have you ever doubted? Whether you've doubted yourself, the existence of a higher power, the efficacy of "alternative" healing techniques, or anything that goes against the mainstream -- this has likely come up for you a…
361: Worried about being a late bloomer? (ft. Jason Lange) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:11:26
Are you concerned about your lack of experience, whether that's sexually, in a dating context, or time in long-term relationships? Maybe you feel behind in some way, and hesitant or fearful about telling a woman about yo…
360: GirlTalk: Striking while the iron is hot! [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:32:22
Want to be even sexier to women than you are now? ;) Learn to strike while the iron is hot!Seriously though -- striking while the iron is hot makes you a man who can generate polarity, build trust, and have women want to…
359: GuyTalk: Ever felt stuck? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:44:27
Have you ever just felt STUCK? Stuck in your dating life, stuck in your marriage, stuck in your sex life (or stuck in your sex life within your marriage)? As one man on our panel put it, "I felt stuck for most of the 20…