419: 3 ways AI can help your love life (and 3 ways it can f*** it up) (ft. Jason Lange)

When it comes to sex, dating, and relationships, what is AI good for? And where can it potentially cause damage?

Here, Jason and I go point-for-point — one way AI can support your love life, one way it can harm it — and get into the nuances most people aren't talking about.

We cover what AI is actually good for: crafting the message you can feel but can't quite say; getting unstuck when you're in your head at midnight; brainstorming date ideas that generate real dopamine for the couple; handling the "shit work" of logistics so you can show up more present.

We share the real story of one client whose fight with his wife got a little unstuck through an unexpected AI assist — and the "family assistant" moment that changed everything for a friend struggling to ask for help.

We also delve into in which ways AI can be like emotional porn; what MIT research shows about how heavy AI use impacts mental health and relationships; and why people literally grieved when OpenAI turned down the sycophancy dial.

The deepest cut? AI has no needs. It will never trigger you, never require repair, never push back. And if you spend enough time in that dynamic... you might start to forget that friction is what actually creates intimacy. But real negotiation between two different humans — that's not the obstacle to love. That IS love.

If you're curious about AI and want to use it wisely — without letting it quietly erode the very capacities that make you magnetic — this one's for you.

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Work with us

Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

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Memorable quotes from this episode:

• "There's a risk she's gonna figure it out."
• "What's our agreement or understanding about AI in our relationship?"
• "You've got to make sure you're working it, and it's not working you."
• "AI can give us the fake sugar version of relationship."
• "It doesn't have any needs. It doesn't have any triggers. There's no need to negotiate."
• "The friction of relationship is what we learn to work — and it's what makes it meaningful."
• "Get really good at friction. If you can be the one in the room who can hang in conflict — that is only going to become more valuable."
• "It can be part of your team. It can't be your whole team."
• "Safety and trust is built in person with human beings — and most of what we're gauging is how they are being with us, not what they are saying."