Fierce Hope

It’s beautiful to be taking refuge together in all the various places we find ourselves.

Ah. Here we are. Survivors of the election. Spiritual warriors attempting to live a vow-fueled life. Hearts turned towards love larger then fear. Even if fear is rattling in your gut, or anger is raging strong in your body or numbness has you hiding out.

Whatever you are feeling is welcome.

Whatever you are feeling is wisdom.

Its your body telling you something—

That something might be: This isn’t ok. NO! I don’t feel safe. I am afraid. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I have the energy to fight. This matters. This is what i love. This is what i care about.

Or something else. Listen. What is your body trying to say to you? This may change moment to moment.

In the Zen Community of Oregon, we are currently studying a text called The Eight Realizations of a Great Being. A set of pith instructions given by the Buddha shortly before they died.

This week we explored the Fifth Realization

Ignorance leads to birth and death. Bodhisattvas are always mindful

To study and learn extensively, to increase their wisdom

And perfect their eloquence, so they can teach and enlighten all beings,

And impart great joy to all.

Dogen Zenji calls it Always Maintaining Mindfulness and comments:

Mindfulness helps you to guard the dharma, so you never lose it. If you practice this the robbers of fear and desire cannot enter you. Therefore you should always maintain mindfulness. It is like wearing armor going into a battlefield, so there is nothing to be afraid of.

When we have mindfulness, or heartfulness—we know who we are, and where we stand. We are aligned with vow, the great vow—to awaken for the sake of all beings!

Mindfulness has its popular dimensions in our culture. Its found its way into businesses, schools, the military—its featured in taglines like Mindful Car Washing, Mindful Jogging, Mindful Eating, Mindful Sleep Therapy. Its said to help workers stay focused, increase productivity, basically make everything better…

Yet, mindfulness is also subversive.

A mindfulness instructor, Zen practitioner and friend said to to me in a conversation once, mindfulness is shadow work.

He has taught mindfulness in business settings, and when he said this, I felt the truth in his words.

Mindfulness is empowering and it also brings us into direct relationship with the wisdom of our bodies, the feelings perhaps we have been trying to run from, the fixed beliefs that drive our life.

Through mindfulness we aren’t lost in the wimbs or conditioning of our thinking / reactivity. We can live more authentically, we can ask questions, make space for our anger and feel the wisdom of our fears.

Mindfulness is our best english translation of the word sati, which means more “to recollect” or “to remember.” 

What are we remembering? Our practice, the dharma, heart, we are reconnecting with what really matters.

If you are feeling a lot right now, its your body saying yes, this matters, our interconnected life matters.

The earth, immigrants in our country, trans + non-binary people, queer folks, women, people of color, the more than human world—matter.

Love matters. Wisdom matters. Seeing through the forces of ignorance matter.

Awakening from our collective delusion matters.

Mindfulness also means being present with, allowing what’s here to be here—in the different dimensions of our being:

My teacher Chozen Roshi would often teach the four foundations of mindfulness during morning meditation at the monastery. This teaching offers a ground up approach to experiencing this precious interconnected life. Here we start with our body.

Body—bringing awareness to the felt sense of our bodies, part by part feeling our bodies from within the somatic experience of the body allows us to awaken to the wisdom of our embodied experience.

Feelings—next we include feelings, allowing awareness to make space for the flow of life energy that we call emotion or feeling. To feel feelings without needed to make a story about them, without needing to name them. Just to feel the energy itself. This is our energy. This is our life.

Thought—So often we just take our thoughts to be true, or we get in a fight with them. To bring mindfulness to the thought stream empowers us to see/hear what we are telling ourselves. It is possible to experience thought as pure sensation, another sense in the field of awareness. To do this, gives us freedom from the tyranny of our conditioned thoughts. Mind is freed up.

Awareness itself—after opening to and including body, feelings and thought, next we open to awareness itself. Resting in pure awareness, senses open, one single unified life. This is our shared being, all is included, all is allowed.

Thoughts and emotions often want to take us out of our experience, into story, worry, blaming others, searching for information—we can learn to follow them back home, to the liberated self.

I have been reflecting on the teaching of the Five Wisdom Dakinis that comes from the Tibetan tradition, Lama Tsultrim Allione writes about them in her book Wisdom Rising.

Dakini is one depiction of the awakened feminine, known also as a “sky-dancer” or “sky-goer”, the dakini principle is here to wake us up from our habits of ego-identification. Dakinis are often portrayed in motion, dancing on delusion and decorated in bone ornaments. 

The five wisdom dakinis are portrayed as fierce and passionate beings who transmute/use the energy of the emotions as the liberated energy of awakening. I feel like this time is inviting us to feel and use the energy of the emotions to meet the challenges we face as a country and a global community. 

We need the awakened feminine with her fierce hope and embodied wisdom. 

The five wisdom dakinis are connected to colors, the great elements and a buddha family.

Earth—Yellow — Ratna — transmutes the desire for sensual pleasure and security into the Wisdom of Sameness, Abundance and Generosity

Water—Blue — Vajra — transmutes anger into Mirror Like Wisdom and Clarity

Fire—Red — Padma — transmutes passionate desire for connection and sexual energy into Discerning Wisdom and Compassion

Space—White — Buddha — transmutes fear/ignorance into All Inclusive Wisdom

Air—Green — Karma — transmutes jealousy/comparison/insecurity into All Accomplishing Wisdom or Great Activity

The stories and koans of the women ancestors show us how real women have embodied these energies in their life of practice-realization. Stories help us see beyond ourselves and our limiting beliefs and also remind us that others have faced challenges and difficulties on the path. They also help us connect to practitioners beyond our current teachers or community.

Here are some stories I’d like to share:

The Old Woman burns down the Hermitage

An old woman built a hermitage for a monk and supported him for twenty years. One day, to test the extent of the monk’s enlightenment and understanding, she sent a young, beautiful, girl to the hut with orders to embrace him. When the girl embraced the monk and asked, “How is this?” He replied stiffly, “A withered tree among frozen rocks; not a trace of warmth for three winters.” Hearing of the monk’s response, the old woman grabbed a stick, went to the hermitage, beat him and chased him out of the hut. She then put the hermitage to the torch and burned it to the ground.

Ryonen Scars her Face

Lingzhao’s I’m helping

Satsujo Weeps

To close, I offer some questions for reflection as we land in this moment and also look to the future.

What is this moment awakening in me? (Stay with yourself, listen to your body, feelings, thoughts, vow—we gather wisdom by listening to our whole being, and then use discernment, what is coming from conditioning and reactivity, and what is wise—if you don’t know, keep listening)

How do I want to show up for myself / my community?

What supports / teachings / practices might I need to do this?

What nourishes me?

Thanks for reading friends! This dharma talk was given during Monday Night Meditation. You can find out more below.

I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, budding Astrologer and Artist. I currently live in Columbus, Ohio with my partner Patrick Kennyo Dunn, we facilitate an in-person meditation gathering every Wednesday from 7P - 8:30P at ILLIO in Clintonville through Mud Lotus Sangha. If you happen to be in Columbus, feel free to stop by. We have weekly meditation gatherings and monthly Saturday offerings as well.

Current Offerings

Spiritual Counseling — IFS informed, mindful somatic therapy

Astrology— I am starting to offer astrology readings. I have found astrology to be a helpful map for connecting to the more mythic unfolding of life. It can help us honor our gifts, navigate challenges, get perspective and connect with planetary allies. It can also offer guidance on the questions that arise in our lives and aid us in stepping more fully into our wholeness. I am currently offering the following types of readings

Natal Chart Readings

Astro Counseling Package

Transit Readings

Great Work of Your Life Reading

Monday Night Meditation + Dharma

Every Monday 6P PT / 9P ET

Join me on zoom for 40 minutes of meditation and a dharma talk. We are currently exploring a text called The Eight Realizations of Great Beings, which gives us an opportunity to practice inquiry and embodying love as we discover our Awakened Nature together.

This event is hosted by the Zen Community of Oregon. All are welcome to join. Drop in any time.

Zoom Link for Monday Night

Sky + Rose: The Ritual of Strange Flowers

Sunday Dec 1

10:30A PT - 12:30P PT / 1:30P ET - 3:30P ET

How do we know that anything is only one thing? 

Strange flowers bloom within and without.  What is not a flower?  What is not strange when held in a steady gaze? 

Each of us are strange flowers. How familiar are our own beauties?  What of the self could be revisioned ?

We will actuate our own blemished bodies as intimate beauty. We may take grotesque shapes and discover them differently.  We’ll look underneath and behind and move wierdly to enter new worlds. We will play in ways the authorities that haunt our minds may not give their seal of approval, releasing energy, shedding man and mind-made shackles.

Sample Schedule

Ritual of Unknowing

Seated Meditation (bring a strange flower to meditate on)

Somatic/Parts Work Explorations

Group Check-in

Closing

Please rsvp and we will send the zoom link + additional information to prepare for the session.