A monk asked Hongzhi, “What about the ones who have gone?”
Hongzhi said, “White clouds rise to the top of the valleys, blue peaks
lean into the empty sky.”
The monk asked, “What about the ones who return?”
Hongzhi said, “Heads covered in white hair, they leave the cliffs and
valleys. In the dead of night they descend through the clouds to the
market stalls.”
“What about the ones who neither come nor go?”
“The stone woman calls them back from their dream of the world.”
As the year comes to an end, I have been spending time with the archetype of the Stone Woman. A character who mysteriously turns up throughout the Chan koan tradition. We find her getting up to dance in the Precious Mirror Samadhi, giving birth to a child at night in the Mountains and Rivers Sutra and calling us back from our dream of the world in this dialogue with Hongzhi.
Who is this woman of stone?
Perhaps you have met her as the ancient boulders that watch over you during a favorite hike, or the large rocks you used to climb and rest on as a child. Perhaps you’ve held her hand while walking on the beach or along a river. Or maybe you’ve encountered her in the stone buildings or concrete sidewalks of your neighborhood.
Her stillness and quiet are reminiscent of your own deeply silent Mind.
Her pregnant darkness allows all of creation to spring forth. Including you, and me, and each thought, word, expression, desire, feeling and sensation.
Koans contain layers of meaning, and while their intention is to aid us in awakening to the profound truth of non-separation—they also have a way of meeting us exactly where we are. So as one year turns into another. Let’s take the questioner’s inquiries to heart.
What about the ones who have gone? They ask—
Well, where have you gone? These last 12 months. What/who did you visit?
What did you see? What experiences did you seek out?
What did you learn from your going?
Is there a word, phrase, image—that speaks to your going and learning this last year?
Hongzhi gives us this one: “White clouds rise to the top of the valleys, blue peaks lean into the empty sky.”
Then we are asked: What about the ones who return?
What did you return to? Where did you take refuge?
What are places of return for you? Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual?
Who do you return to?
How have you shared or offered yourself? Who/what are you in service to?
Is there a connection to going/learning—and returning?
Is there an image, word, phrase connected to returning, refuge or offering?
Hongzhi again gives us one: “Heads covered in white hair, they leave the cliffs and valleys. In the dead of night they descend through the clouds to the market stalls.”
Lastly the questioner asks, what about those who neither come nor go?
What have you stayed with? Whether its sobriety, a relationship, vows, commitments, a creative project, a home, a child—reflect on staying
What commitments did you honor? What values did you live by?
Reflect on the challenges and joys of staying.
What image, word or phrase captures the art of staying for you.
Hongzhi says: The stone woman calls them back from their dream of the world
Now, for a moment let yourself be here, let thoughts come and go, body sensations come and go, but really be here at the stillness of your being.
Whats it like to be here—here?
Be the stone woman.
Connect to the stillness and quiet of stone—the unconditioned heart
Prajna Paramita—wisdom beyond wisdom
There is something beautiful here, being called back from our dreams of the world, the things we did, didn’t do, our learnings.
To just be here, right here
And let our dreams for the next year be in communion with the dream of the stone woman, the dream of awakening—
What is that like?
To let your dreams merge with the great dream, your life touch this one unconditioned life.
To close, I’ll leave you with this poem by Marie Howe. Sending you blessings for the New Year.
SINGULARITY
by Marie Howe
(after Stephen Hawking)
Do you sometimes want to wake up to the singularity
we once were?
so compact nobody
needed a bed, or food or money —
nobody hiding in the school bathroom
or home alone
pulling open the drawer
where the pills are kept.
For every atom belonging to me as good
Belongs to you. Remember?
There was no Nature. No
them. No tests
to determine if the elephant
grieves her calf or if
the coral reef feels pain. Trashed
oceans don’t speak English or Farsi or French;
would that we could wake up to what we were
— when we were ocean and before that
to when sky was earth, and animal was energy, and rock was
liquid and stars were space and space was not
at all — nothing
before we came to believe humans were so important
before this awful loneliness.
Can molecules recall it?
what once was? before anything happened?
No I, no We, no one. No was
No verb no noun
only a tiny tiny dot brimming with
is is is is is
All everything home
I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, budding Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions in the styles of IFS and somatic mindfulness. I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more.
Below you can find a list of weekly and monthly online and in-person practice opportunities. I will be traveling to Oregon in February and will be facilitating three events of varying lengths while I am there (most of which are taking place at Great Vow Zen Monastery.)
Weekly Online Meditation Event
Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. Feel free to join anytime. Event last about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK
Monthly Online Practice Event
Sky+Rose: The Ritual of Being Lost on Sunday January 5
10:30A - 12:30P PT / 1:30P - 3:30P ET
RSVP
In-Person in Oregon
Feb 1 — Sky+Rose Daylong Retreat: The Strange Garden of Desire
The strange garden of desire: wandering, dreaming, feasting, tending, destroying.
In this daylong workshop each person will explore their singular Strange Garden of Desires, taking a fresh look at what loves, longings, obsessions and obligations live within us.
Through parts work, meditation, and practices of somatic expression we will engage our gardens in five distinct ways: wandering, dreaming, tending, feasting and destroying.
Feb 2 - 9 — Pari-Nirvana Sesshin: A Meditation Retreat exploring Life, Death & the Unknown
Feb 13 - 16 — Emergent Darkness – A Creative Process, Parts Work and Zen Retreat
In-Person in Ohio
(See Mud Lotus Sangha Calendar for weekly meditation events, classes and retreats)
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit
amykisei.substack.com/subscribe
