How Do I Stop Being Such A People Pleaser?

How Do I Stop Being Such A People Pleaser?

Author: Sony Music Entertainment / Jonathan Van Ness January 29, 2025 Duration: 51:15
JVN sits down with Kati Morton, a licensed therapist and bestselling author, to dive deep into the world of people-pleasing. Together, they unpack why people-pleasing isn’t just about being nice—it’s about discomfort with other people’s discomfort, and why it leaves so many of us feeling invisible, drained, and resentful. Kati shares her expert tips on breaking free from the cycle, including practical strategies like “opposite action” and learning to set boundaries without guilt. They discuss why saying no doesn’t make you selfish, how to rediscover yourself when you’ve been lost in pleasing others, and why finding the courage to be disliked might be the most radical act of self-care. Kati Morton, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a highly sought-after public speaker in the field of mental health. Starting with a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University, she has built a vast & vibrant online community.  Her YouTube channel - with over 1.4 million subscribers and 130 million views, has made her a prominent figure in translating complex mental health concepts into accessible language. Through her dynamic presence on social media and appearances on top-rated shows such as The TODAY Show, Dr. Phil, Alex Cooper’s Call Her Daddy, E! News, CBS The Doctors, and The Dr. Drew Show, Kati successfully spreads awareness, reduces stigma, and empowers individuals to prioritize their mental well-being. As an accomplished author of two best-selling books "Are u ok?: A Guide to Caring for Your Mental Health," and “Traumatized: Identify, Understand and Cope with PTSD and Emotional Stress”, Kati's dedication to dismantling barriers to mental health services and fostering a supportive global community is unmatched. You can find Kati on Instagram and Tiktok @katimorton and on YouTube @KatiMorton Follow us on Instagram @CuriousWithJVN to join the conversation. Jonathan is on Instagram @JVN. Transcripts for each episode are available at JonathanVanNess.com. Find books from Getting Curious guests at bookshop.org/shop/curiouswithjvn. Our senior producer is Chris McClure. Our editor & engineer is Nathanael McClure. Production support from Julie Carrillo, Anne Currie, and Chad Hall. Our theme music is “Freak” by QUIÑ; for more, head to TheQuinCat.com. Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You know that feeling when you’re just trying to figure it all out, and you need a guide who’s equal parts insightful and hilarious? That’s the space where Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness lives. Hosted by the beloved Jonathan Van Ness of Queer Eye, this podcast turns genuine curiosity into a powerful engine for personal growth. Each episode feels like a vibrant conversation with a deeply empathetic friend who isn’t afraid to ask the big, awkward, or wonderfully silly questions. Jonathan sits down with a diverse array of experts, authors, and thinkers, weaving together discussions that are as enlightening as they are unexpectedly funny. The result is a unique blend of education, comedy, and culture that tackles everything from societal issues to the intimate details of self-improvement. You’ll find yourself laughing one moment and having a profound revelation the next, all while feeling less alone in the challenges of modern life. This isn’t about quick fixes; it’s about the ongoing, messy, and beautiful process of understanding ourselves and the world. Produced in partnership with Sony Music Entertainment, the podcast delivers consistently engaging audio experiences that are both a lifeline and a joy. Tune in for a weekly dose of warmth, wit, and the kind of conversations that leave you feeling genuinely better equipped to navigate your own path.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness
Podcast Episodes
Who Wins When Everyone Plays? with Verity Smith [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 54:12
Sports are about so much more than competition. Through athletics we learn life skills, we move authentically, and we find community. This week, Verity Smith joins Jonathan to discuss the importance of trans inclusion in…
How Does Dust Impact Earth’s Climate? with Dr. Sarah Aarons [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 59:27
Dust isn’t just something that accumulates between our couch cushions. Dust is ALL OVER Earth—there are 20 trillion grams of it!—and it plays a critical role in weather events, climate change, and how we understand Earth…
Why Are We So Obsessed With Dogs? with Dr. maythe han [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:06:54
Dogs. We snuggle up with them on the couch. We pamper them with treats and toys and songs. We even give them prime placement on our dating profiles! But how—and why—did we become BFFs with canines? And what does our love…
Can You Even Believe It’s Our 300th Episode? with Jonathan Van Ness [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 51:12
If you’d told Jonathan seven years ago that they’d be celebrating 300 episodes of Getting Curious this week, they would have passed out on the salon floor. You’d be visiting from the future, after all! We couldn’t have m…
Are Plant-Based Diets For Everyone? with Dr. Aviaja Lyberth Hauptmann [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:03:30
We all need to eat. And we know that the choices we make with food are at once deeply personal and informed by systemic factors. As part of our ongoing exploration into global foodways, Dr. Aviaja Lyberth Hauptmann joins…