I like a little pain – Joy

I like a little pain – Joy

Author: Leah Carey October 28, 2021 Duration: 1:19:15

Joy talks about taboo territory like incest porn, being HSV-2 positive, and trying out "water sports." She has early memories of non-consensual experiences, which led to weak boundaries and a tendency towards dissociation and passivity. A hysterectomy and genital changes further changed her body and libido. She's always enjoyed masturbation and has been unpartnered for some time; she's ready to explore again.

Joy is a 44-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, monogamous, bisexual. She is post-menopausal and has had ovarian cancer and a full hysterectomy. She describes her body as pear-shaped and wears hearing aids.

  • Joy shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, cuddling with a pillow between her legs and then starting a relationship with her bathtub.
  • Joy lost her virginity at age 14; she considers herself to have given consent but she also knows she dissociated, and remembers staring at a blooming tree out the window. There were indications of earlier trauma.
  • She talks about a girlfriend she sometimes fooled around with, and a series of physical interactions in which she was not fully present and struggled with boundaries.
  • Joy comes out to her father as bisexual.
  • She finally experiences pleasure with a sort of friend who offers benefits. She feels passive at the beginning, but then she starts to really enjoy the sex.
  • The relationship ends, and she has a few hookups. Unfortunately, she contracts herpes after one exchange. She opens up about how she managed it in subsequent relationships; she has both disclosed her status, and not disclosed her status. It's a hard conversation.
  • Her most recent past relationship was pretty vanilla. The longer one before involved some kink exploration, including "water sports."
  • She has a long-distance relationship with an older man; it doesn't end well. There hasn't been anyone since, just frequent masturbation. She'd been content alone until listening to the podcast and starting to wonder.
  • Joy went through ovarian cancer a few years ago and she had to have a full hysterectomy. She talks about how it has impacted her body. One of the things she experienced was genital restructuring. Her orgasms and arousal have changed.
  • They talk about how to be more present in one's body.

Resources:

 

Update: 
Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak

 


Leah Carey's Good Girls Talk About Sex is built on a simple, powerful premise: honest, unfiltered conversation. As a Sex and Intimacy Coach, Leah guides discussions that feel less like interviews and more like the kind of intimate, revealing talk you'd share with a close friend. Each episode features women from an incredibly wide spectrum of life-differing in size, shape, age, orientation, and cultural or religious background. The stories include those from people raised as girls and transgender women, exploring a full range of relationship structures and levels of kink. What you'll hear are personal narratives about sexuality that are often left unspoken, shared without judgment. This podcast moves beyond theory into the lived, human experience, creating a rare space where complexity is welcomed and authenticity is the only rule. Tuning in means listening to voices that are frequently marginalized, finding common ground in unexpected places, and perhaps understanding your own story a little better through the generous sharing of others.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Good Girls Talk About Sex
Podcast Episodes
I wanted to lose my virginity so I'd stop feeling behind - Alice [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:04:59
Is it normal to want dating without hook-ups? And what if you don't even know who you want to date? When you're on the asexual spectrum with bisexual attractions, it can be confusing to chart desire and create a relation…
I want to explore anal - Julia [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:28:29
How do you know you're queer if you don't even know that's an option? It's hard to imagine what we can't see. Julia takes us through confusing early fantasies to landing that first girl-kiss to realizing what it means to…
I prayed my husband would die so I could have sex again - Gabby [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:58:19
What happens when a girl grows up in purity culture and gets married to the first boy who pays attention to her, just so she can have sex? Is purity culture religious abuse? In this episode we hear that story from Gabby.…
I married a man who stopped wanting me after I said "I do" - Brenda [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:35:50
Brenda grew up in a "sex silent" household and transitioned right into purity culture. For a naturally highly sexual person, this spelled dysfunction and disaster. She found her way out of abuse and repression, went thro…
I watched porn on the school bus – Kay [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:20:20
Kay is our youngest guest yet, and she lets us in on how her generation is exploring sex differently because they're the first with easy access to p*rn. She has dated people of multiple genders, and realized she loves al…
I had a lot of pain during intercourse – Caz [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:27:14
Caz is an open book with a ton of chapters: a non-binary disability advocate kink-loving trauma survivor pain/pleasure early wayfinder who left live sex shows for the dating apps. The extraordinary roads they had to navi…
I thought my attractions were sinful - Tori [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 56:07
Tori grew up in a church that preached purity culture, which mostly taught her what she didn't want—a life with far more shame than sex, compounded by firmly fixed instructions around gender. She followed her pleasure do…
I was dating while pregnant - Tammy [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:31:43
Tammy is a listener-turned-guest who takes us into her American Jewish culture and shares how that shaped her early experiences around sex and marriage, and led her into situations that were unhealthy and downright dange…
I want be pushed against the wall – Ar Blia [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:26:15
It's our 100th episode!!!!! Ar Blia is a listener-turned-guest who has been untangling early experiences of trauma, limiting cultural beliefs, and confusing desires to first explore and then advocate for her own pleasure…
My body doesn't work the regular way - Karin [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:04:58
Karin talks about living with cerebral palsy and how she shows up in her own life and on Instagram. Early in her life, she struggled with hating her body, and had to work to get to place where she could see her body as w…