I tried to pee standing up – Lachlan

I tried to pee standing up – Lachlan

Author: Leah Carey December 10, 2020 Duration: 1:33:05

Lachlan was born with a vagina. His is the story of how a boy learned to be a girl, then learned to be invisible, then a lesbian, before learning that he could just be who he was all along, except that it's still … complicated.

Lachlan is a 41-year-old transgender man. He describes himself as white, straight-ish, monogamish and single. He describes his body as a round, cuddly bear.

  • Lachlan shares the complications around early sexual desire for him, because he knew he was attracted to other little girls.
  • Lachlan's parents don't pressure him to gender conform as a kid, though trans isn't a known thing back then. Until, a birthday party. He learns about "passing" and blouses, and struggles through his teens.
  • He talks about his rich fantasy life as a teen, in which he is a tall handsome football-playing penis-bearing male vaguely modeled on Macguyver.
  • Lachlan's first sexual experience of any kind is at age 21 with his first girlfriend, who teaches him to masturbate. He squirts!
  • The concept of transgender comes into his awareness.
  • Lachlan comes out, despite fearing he will lose his entire family.
  • After the news is broken to his father (by his mother) it is never spoken of between them again.
  • Lachlan shares outward steps of transition; therapy, hormones, telling people you work with, growing facial hair.
  • Becoming a man complicates his lesbian relationship.
  • Lachlan details how sexuality transitions along with transitioning: the impacts of testosterone, top and bottom surgical options, the discomfort of still having to get a pap smear, etc.
  • Lachlan talks about the mechanics around having sex in present day.
  • Top surgery has enhanced appearance but decreased sensation.
  • Heartbreak and pandemic create time alone.
  • Lachlan passes fully as a male, and decides if and when disclosure comes, in normal life as well as dating.
  • He opens the door on bathroom talk.

 

Update: 
Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:

 

EPISODE CREDITS:

Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco

Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak

 


Leah Carey's Good Girls Talk About Sex is built on a simple, powerful premise: honest, unfiltered conversation. As a Sex and Intimacy Coach, Leah guides discussions that feel less like interviews and more like the kind of intimate, revealing talk you'd share with a close friend. Each episode features women from an incredibly wide spectrum of life-differing in size, shape, age, orientation, and cultural or religious background. The stories include those from people raised as girls and transgender women, exploring a full range of relationship structures and levels of kink. What you'll hear are personal narratives about sexuality that are often left unspoken, shared without judgment. This podcast moves beyond theory into the lived, human experience, creating a rare space where complexity is welcomed and authenticity is the only rule. Tuning in means listening to voices that are frequently marginalized, finding common ground in unexpected places, and perhaps understanding your own story a little better through the generous sharing of others.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Good Girls Talk About Sex
Podcast Episodes
I wanted to lose my virginity so I'd stop feeling behind - Alice [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:04:59
Is it normal to want dating without hook-ups? And what if you don't even know who you want to date? When you're on the asexual spectrum with bisexual attractions, it can be confusing to chart desire and create a relation…
I want to explore anal - Julia [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:28:29
How do you know you're queer if you don't even know that's an option? It's hard to imagine what we can't see. Julia takes us through confusing early fantasies to landing that first girl-kiss to realizing what it means to…
I prayed my husband would die so I could have sex again - Gabby [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:58:19
What happens when a girl grows up in purity culture and gets married to the first boy who pays attention to her, just so she can have sex? Is purity culture religious abuse? In this episode we hear that story from Gabby.…
I like a little pain – Joy [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:19:15
Joy talks about taboo territory like incest porn, being HSV-2 positive, and trying out "water sports." She has early memories of non-consensual experiences, which led to weak boundaries and a tendency towards dissociatio…
I married a man who stopped wanting me after I said "I do" - Brenda [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:35:50
Brenda grew up in a "sex silent" household and transitioned right into purity culture. For a naturally highly sexual person, this spelled dysfunction and disaster. She found her way out of abuse and repression, went thro…
I watched porn on the school bus – Kay [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:20:20
Kay is our youngest guest yet, and she lets us in on how her generation is exploring sex differently because they're the first with easy access to p*rn. She has dated people of multiple genders, and realized she loves al…
I had a lot of pain during intercourse – Caz [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:27:14
Caz is an open book with a ton of chapters: a non-binary disability advocate kink-loving trauma survivor pain/pleasure early wayfinder who left live sex shows for the dating apps. The extraordinary roads they had to navi…
I thought my attractions were sinful - Tori [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 56:07
Tori grew up in a church that preached purity culture, which mostly taught her what she didn't want—a life with far more shame than sex, compounded by firmly fixed instructions around gender. She followed her pleasure do…
I was dating while pregnant - Tammy [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:31:43
Tammy is a listener-turned-guest who takes us into her American Jewish culture and shares how that shaped her early experiences around sex and marriage, and led her into situations that were unhealthy and downright dange…
I want be pushed against the wall – Ar Blia [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:26:15
It's our 100th episode!!!!! Ar Blia is a listener-turned-guest who has been untangling early experiences of trauma, limiting cultural beliefs, and confusing desires to first explore and then advocate for her own pleasure…