Dear You! On this episode of Gratitude Through Hard Times an immigration activist and legal powerhouse teaches us how to write letters to the selves we intend to become. Hillary Walsh, President and Founder of New Frontier Immigration Law, explains how this simple tool can help us determine – and then manifest – the things we want to be, do and have. It starts with articulating a vision – then identifying the week-by-week, month-by-month steps necessary to make it a reality. It’s exactly this kind of focused goal-setting that has driven Hillary’s growing legal advisory firm and foundation. You’ll learn how she transcended childhood abuse, as well as stints in foster care and lockup, to become a crusader for the rights of those without a voice – victims of domestic violence, human trafficking and a broken immigration system. Gratitude is at the root of Hillary’s ambitious goal to empower marginalized people – the core mission that animates her whole team at New Frontier Immigration Law on even the toughest of days. Says Hillary: “The only way out of a ditch is not to dig more. It’s not to have someone pull you out. It’s up to you to levitate out.” Now there’s a thought for your next motivational letter!
Did you try our 60-second letter-writing exercise? If you’d like to share the thoughts you composed while listening to this episode, we’d love for you to send them to us via this contact.
The short documentary at this link will give you the overview on Hillary’s work and the passion she brings to immigration law. Click here if you’re interested in learning more about the goal-setting retreats we discussed.
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KEY TOPICS:
- If you could give credit or thanks to one person in your life that you don’t give enough credit or enough thanks to – that you’ve never thought to thank – who would that be? Her longtime friend Lisa, a beauty pageant mentor who supported Hillary as a feisty teen-age competitor in pursuit of scholarship money. Decades later, it stands as “the most authentic demonstration of friendship and love” Hillary has ever known.
- Lonely at the Top: Bringing the intensity required to achievement and innovation can predispose judgment, projection and high expectations that not everyone shares.
- How Hillary Stays Committed: Ongoing goal-setting and targeted plans are key, as well as detailed letters to her future self that articulate concrete goals.
- New Frontier University: The platform, which will offer revolutionary access to education and skills, launches in the next six months.
- A Letter to Myself in Sixty Seconds:
- Investigate/Determine the things you want to be, do and have.
- Who do you want on your team five years from now?
- Imagine the gift you want to have cultivated five years from now.
- Include specific data and personal targets, then build backwards month by month, week by week.
- Speak your desires directly to the universe.
- Put it in writing: “Dear (Me), It’s 2028 and I’m so glad I’ve been able to x,y and z.”
- New Frontier’s Big-Picture Goals:
- To serve and support those who have experienced domestic violence and human trafficking.
- To compensate for shortcomings in the social welfare system.
- To provide options and a voice to undocumented people who are victims.
- To create a new line of defense for those who have suffered trafficking.
- Hillary’s Ups & Downs:
- Challenge: Hiring and identifying partners has been an “intense learning journey.”
- Challenge: Losing confidence when senior hires “tank your leadership culture.”
- Victory: The funny, irreverent, high-energy team she has assembled.
- A Great Fix for Down Moments: Grab a piece of paper and jot down three things you have to celebrate and ask others around you to do the same. Try creating a dedicated Slack channel! You’ll feel gratitude shift the energy!
- Parting Thought: If you feel like your team isn’t working for you, then it’s time to stop and take stock. Whenever you think your people are your problem, it’s because you’re out of alignment with your own core values!
QUOTABLE
- “I hate pretending because authenticity is one of my core values.” (Hillary)
- “I’ve accepted that my life is going to be very out of balance. I think seeking balance is the enemy of innovation and achievement.” (Hillary)
- “I’m very dissatisfied, which is why I want to change so much and make a really lasting impact that outlives me.” (Hillary)
- “I don’t need people to know my name when I’m gone, but I need the shit that I did now to matter in three generations.” (Hillary)
- “You’re fighting for something really, really, really big and meeting resistance. And that resistance comes in the form of loneliness … self-doubt … Imposter Syndrome … pleasing others and challenging your ability to do what you need to get done.” (Chris)
- “As I started figuring out the ‘what’ I wanted to do, the ‘who’ that was going to make it happen started showing up in my life.” (Hillary)
- “We get so caught up in the minutiae. We are very short term-oriented people, but we can pause and broaden our perspectives.” (Chris)
- “Long-term thinking helps us to remember in the short term why we’re doing things. It’s a reminder of core values.” (Hillary)
- “Gratitude is not just about being grateful for positive things ... It can be used to help pick you up out of a hole, to find positive benefits in negative autobiographical experience. It’s a tool for resilience, self-confidence, self-efficacy.” (Chris)
- “You think you’ve got it all figured out and then your business levels your ego in this exhilarating but exhausting kind of way.” (Hillary)
- “The only way out of a ditch is not to dig more. It’s not to have someone pull you out. It’s for you to levitate out.” (Hillary)
- “Money won’t solve every problem, but having the comfort of knowing you consistently have enough and that you can change your trajectory … is a gamechanger.” (Hillary)
- “In order to see the change you want to see in others, first you have to make change within yourself … It’s not about changing others. It’s about clearing up your side of the street.” (Chris)
LINKS/FURTHER RESOURCES:
ABOUT OUR GUEST:
Hillary Walsh helps immigrants live free in the United States. Through her experiences of suffering child abuse, being put in foster care and serving a stint in lockup, Hillary became committed to fighting for the rights of others. In the past 10+ years of practicing immigration law, she’s represented clients before the U.S. Supreme Court, the Supreme Court of Nevada, the Ninth, Sixth, and Fifth Circuit Courts of Appeals, the Board of Immigration Appeals and immigration courts nationwide. Hillary is also a mother of four, a military wife, a law professor, a TEDx speaker, and an award-winning immigration lawyer.
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ABOUT OUR HOST:
Chris Schembra is a philosopher, question asker and facilitator. He's a columnist at Rolling Stone magazine, USA Today calls him their "Gratitude Guru" and he's spent the last six years traveling around the world helping people connect in meaningful ways. As the offshoot of his #1 Wall Street Journal bestselling book, "Gratitude Through Hard Times: Finding Positive Benefits Through Our Darkest Hours,"he uses this podcast to blend ancient stoic philosophy and modern-day science to teach how the principles of gratitude can be used to help people get through their hard times.
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