We Studied 4,000+ Dates… Everything You Know About Attraction Is a Lie

We Studied 4,000+ Dates… Everything You Know About Attraction Is a Lie

Author: Sean Kim March 25, 2026 Duration: 1:17:58

UC Davis psychology professor and relationship scientist Paul Eastwick has spent two decades running studies that challenge everything we think we know about attraction — from speed dating experiments to 4,000 blind dates — and the findings will surprise you. In this episode, we break down why the traits you think you want in a partner don't actually predict who you'll be attracted to in real life, why dating apps may be making your love life worse, and the science behind what actually builds lasting chemistry and compatibility. If you're dating, in a relationship, or just want to understand how attraction really works, this conversation will change the way you think about it.In our conversation we discuss:

(1:10) Why Dating Advice Gets Attraction Wrong
(2:28) The Evolutionary Reason Humans Bond
(7:08) What Speed Dating Reveals About Attraction
(13:03) Why Dating Apps Distort Real Chemistry
(18:27) How Culture Shapes Who We Want
(25:49) Why Compatibility Can’t Be Predicted
(31:45) What Actually Matters Long Term
(42:24) Why Modern Dating Feels Like a Market
(52:58) The 3-Date Rule for Real Connection
(59:54) The Questions That Build Chemistry
(1:10:10) Why Passion Fades in Relationships
(1:15:50) Best Advice for Finding LoveLearn more about Paul Eastwick here:

Website: https://pauleastwick.com/pauleastwick

"Bonded By Evolution": https://a.co/d/06WWsVs1

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pauleastwick?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==Listen to this episode Youtube: https://youtu.be/26y86mf2P4w📸 Connect on IG: https://instagram.com/growthminds.podcast


Sean Kim hosts Growth Minds with Sean Kim, a podcast built on the idea that meaningful growth touches every part of our lives. Each episode features a deep, unscripted conversation with a leading voice, moving beyond simple tips to explore the philosophies and personal stories behind their success. You’ll hear from an incredibly diverse roster, from financial thinker Robert Kiyosaki and neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman to cultural icons like Dennis Rodman and musicians like Steve Aoki. The discussions naturally weave through interconnected themes of physical health, mental resilience, financial wisdom, and personal relationships. Whether it’s Dr. Jason Fung breaking down metabolic health or Wim Hof explaining his breathing methods, the focus is on practical insights you can apply. This isn’t about abstract theory; it’s about the tangible habits and mindset shifts that help you build a better life. Tune in for a consistently surprising and substantive dialogue that challenges how you think about your own potential.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Growth Minds with Sean Kim
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