231 – Bates Motel

Group masturbation parties have long occupied a discreet but distinctive place in queer sexual culture — from informal jerk-off circles and beats to organised bate clubs, private gatherings and events like Melbourne’s Stroke and Sydney’s JackALL.

Jon and Craig are joined by Marc from Melbourne Wankers and Ben, founder of JackALL, to explore the history, culture and appeal of communal masturbation spaces. They discuss what makes a bate party different from a conventional sex party, the influence of saunas, porn cinemas and earlier queer gathering places, and how HIV, hookup apps and changing community expectations have shaped these events.

The conversation also gets practical, looking at consent, etiquette, safety, intoxication, dress, pornography and the clear boundaries that allow attendees to relax. Marc and Ben reflect on why people attend, from erotic curiosity and voyeurism to friendship, intimacy, body confidence and the freedom of a sexual environment without expectations around penetration or performance.

Finally, they consider whether events like Stroke could return, how community-led gatherings are evolving, and what someone curious about these spaces should know before attending for the first time.

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This episode was recorded on the lands of the Yalukut Weelam clan of the Boon Wurrung peoples. We pay our respects to their elders, past, present and emerging, and acknowledge that sovereignty was never ceded.

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