239 – Big Bodies, Open Hearts

Body image can get into your head, your sex life, your relationships, your career, your confidence, your clothes, your photos, your apps, and the way you move through the world.

This week on Hide and Seek, Jon and Joenas are joined by singer-songwriter and friend of JOY Greg Gould, and Justin Mark — Mr VicBears 2026 — for a candid conversation about fatphobia, body dysmorphia and what it means to feel sexy in a world that keeps trying to turn bigger bodies into a “before” photo.

Greg shares the real comments people have made about his body across his career, from being told he would be more successful if he lost weight, to being asked about gastric surgery at his own album launch. Justin talks about fat-shaming on apps, bear spaces, body hierarchy, and the long work of learning to see himself as desirable.

Together, they unpack the difference between concern and cruelty, why “just being honest” is often anything but, how body stigma builds up over time, and why it can be so hard to accept kindness or desire when you have spent years being told your body is a problem.

We also get into queer desirability politics, the strange rules inside supposedly body-positive spaces, what it means to be the “right kind” of fat, how performance and public image complicate body confidence, and why respectful desire means letting go of the shame of loving fat bodies.

And because this is Hide and Seek, it is not all neat affirmations and wellness language. Sometimes body positivity means self-love. Sometimes it means body acceptance. Sometimes it means finding your tribe, posting the lewds, wearing the jacket, singing the song, calling out the fatphobia, or simply saying: kiss my fat ass.

For anyone who has been made to feel like they have to shrink before they are allowed to be beautiful, sexy, loved, booked, desired or seen: this one is for you.

Links and resources mentioned in this episode

• Greg Gould — official website
• Greg Gould on Instagram
• Justin Mark / Holi Dae Knight on Instagram
• Justin Mark / Soft Masc on Instagram
• Holi Dae Knight on Facebook
• Meet Justin Mark / Holi Dae Knight — Bear World Magazine
• Justin previously appeared on Hide and Seek during the Mr VicBear competition earlier this year
• VicBears
• Previous episodes on Body Dysmorphia included a broad look at Body Dysmorphia and a lived experience look at Bigorexia
• JOY support services
• Peplau et al. — Body image satisfaction in heterosexual, gay, and lesbian adults

Follow Jon instagram.com/barbarylion/

Follow Joenas instagram.com/thisisjoenas/

Follow Craig instagram.com/white.dragon.339/

Follow Tim instagram.com/beatzradio/

This episode was recorded on the lands of the Yalukut Weelam clan of the Boon Wurrung peoples. We pay our respects to their elders, past, present and emerging, and acknowledge that sovereignty was never ceded.

Find other JOY podcasts at joy.org.au