Constantine (2005) Review

Constantine (2005) Review

Author: Horror Movie Talk: Horror Movie Review June 22, 2022 Duration: 1:11:09

We watched Constantine on HBO Max and I realized that I had a bunch of unfounded ill-will toward this movie, which is pretty good.

Constantine Monster

@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.

https://youtu.be/DEa508Xmmio

Synopsis

Constantine is about John Constantine (Keanu Reeves), a DC character whose job is essentially to send demons back to hell. Or at least he made it his job when he realized that he was heading there.

He is approached by Angela (Rachel Weisz) and asked to help her prove that her twin sister didn’t commit suicide. As a devout Catholic, Angela realizes that if her sister did actually commit suicide she damned herself to hell.

With the help of his plucky sidekick, Chas (Shia LaBeouf) and some of his friends, John is on the case. 

He finds himself in the middle of a war where the Devil’s son, Mammon, is trying to unleash himself into the world of the living. 

Everyone gets more holy hand grenades than they bargained for.

Constantine Movie poster

Review

Constantine is a pretty impressive movie in a couple different ways.

Firstly, it had a large budget and was able to spend a lot of it on CGI monsters and backdrops, which wouldn’t normally be a plus. But this CGI from 2005 actually holds up quite well. 

It also has enough action and interesting characters to keep you involved in the movie from beginning to end. In fact, the Angel Gabriel (Tilda Swinton) and Satan (Peter Stormare) are some of the best depictions of well-known Bible characters that I’ve ever seen on screen.

Constantine doesn’t dwell on the origin story, while still acknowledging it, which is a breath of fresh air in today’s hyper-cookie-cutter style comic book movie world.

By the end of Constantine, if you are bought in on the story the payoff will be pretty impressive.
It’s not without fault, however. This movie came out two years after The Matrix trilogy concluded, and it feels like a direct port of that series in a lot of ways. From the stylized world to the monotone color pallet to starring Keanu as the savior of mankind – it’s uh, kind of obvious. 

Also, it was originally touted as a horror movie and I can see where it threw in scary imagery and concepts to try and please the horror crowd. Make no mistake, this is not what I would call a “hard-horror movie”. This is an action-thriller that dealt with some of the scarier elements of religion, and the studio figured they could get a bigger audience if they could draw the horror crowd. This was my issue with the movie when I originally watched it on the bigscreen.

Overall, it’s a pretty fun movie that I would watch again after a few years. It was a much better Catholic horror movie than The Nun, so there’s that.

Score

7/10

Watch Constantine

Watch on Amazon

Get 13% Off your order at NightChannels.com when you use code HMT at checkout.

Get a 30 day free trial at Shudder.com when you use the code HMT at checkout.


There's a particular kind of conversation that happens after the credits roll on a scary movie, when you're dissecting the jump scares and debating the monster's motives. Horror Movie Talk captures that exact feeling, serving up weekly discussions that are as much about the genuine love of the genre as they are about critique. Hosted by a team whose passion is palpable, this podcast delves into everything from the latest chilling release haunting theaters to those hidden gems-or notorious flops-you can find on streaming services. The analysis is sharp and deeply opinionated, but the chemistry between the hosts often leads the conversation into unexpectedly funny territory. It’s this blend of thoughtful review and spontaneous humor that defines the show. You'll hear passionate debates about cinematic technique, nods to classic influences, and honest reactions to whether a film truly delivers the scares. Tuning in each Wednesday feels like pulling up a chair with friends who’ve just seen the same movie, armed with strong opinions and a willingness to laugh at the absurdities that make horror so enduring. For anyone who lives for that post-viewing breakdown, this is a consistently engaging listen.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 464

Horror Movie Talk
Podcast Episodes
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:59:33
Remember how Michael Myers was burned in fire? No you don’t, shut up. He’s fine, he was just resting. This week we review Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers with special guest Bug-Z! @dgoebel00 on Instagram provide…
Halloween Kills Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:43:03
We went and saw Halloween Kills and i was shocked by the insanity of the violence at the start and end of the movie, and bored to literal tears by the squishy, awkward middle. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazin…
Lamb Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:46:34
We went and saw Lamb, and I’m still wondering about what I saw. This moody and intimate Icelandic horror movie may not have a lot of scares, but it serves up plenty of dread, and will stick with you for a while. @dgoebel…
Ernest Scared Stupid Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:36:27
We watched Ernest Scared Stupid and were reminded of a simpler time when all you needed for a kids movie was a man with bizarre facial expressions and copious amounts of boogers. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this ama…
Malignant (2021) Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:21:51
We went and saw Malignant, and It had me all turned around. I didn’t know if this movie was coming or going. Wan is an experienced filmmaker, but this film makes me wonder if he had brain trauma since Aquaman. (1:27) – I…
Midnight Mass Aftershow Available Now [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 0:29
Just released, Horror Movie Talk presents the Midnight Mass Aftershow. We’ll breakdown each episode of the upcoming seven-part horror series by Mike Flanagan on Netflix with a companion aftershow episode. About Midnight…
Midnight Mass Aftershow | Book VII: Revelation [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:05:14
In the exciting conclusion to the Midnight Mass Aftershow, we cover Book VII: Revelations. We breakdown the horror and metaphysical aspects of this last episode of Midnight Mass. (0:46) – Welcome (1:51) – Opening Prayer…
Midnight Mass Aftershow | Book VI: Acts of the Apostles [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 40:42
At this point, everything has been set in motion and we get to see what “God” wants for the island of Crockett. Listen to Episode 6 of the Midnight Mass Aftershow. (0:45) – Welcome (1:22) – Synopsis (3:37) – Opening Pray…
Midnight Mass Aftershow | Book V: Gospel [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 39:30
Gospel means the good news, and this episode has some of the worst news for our favorite characters. (0:46) – Welcome (1:45) – Opening Prayer (2:42) – Synopsis (4:42) – Sermon Synopsis Riley is missing, and Erin is searc…
Midnight Mass Aftershow | Book IV: Lamentations [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 40:24
This episode of the aftershow we get to discuss some of the most pivotal revelations of Midnight Mass. (0:46) – Welcome (1:42) – Opening Prayer (2:58) – Synopsis (6:06) – Sermon Synopsis This episode starts with Erin at…