Orphan: First Kill Review

Orphan: First Kill Review

Author: Horror Movie Talk: Horror Movie Review September 7, 2022 Duration: 1:24:29

Much like disposable tupperware, Orphan: First Kill rebels against the idea of a one-use premise. It ends up being the latest entry in the “meh” cinematic universe (MCU).

https://youtu.be/mCa51cjcDNE
Orphan: First Kill Featured Image
Artwork by Dustin Goebel. Follow @dgoebel00 on instagram.

Synopsis

Orphan First Kill is a prequel to 2009’s Orphan, that starred, then 10 year old Isabelle Fuhrman. Now a fully grown adult woman, she is reprising her role as Esther, a thirty something year old psychopathic proportional dwarf posing as an 8-9 year old girl. In this film, we are shown how Esther escapes an Estonian mental facility and poses as an American family’s lost daughter. As time goes on, the family has more questions about Esther, and Esther has more questions about the family. Hjinks ensue.

https://youtu.be/_uX6of3vBu0
Orphan: First Kill Trailer

Review of Orphan: First Kill

This is not a good movie, it’s not a bad movie, it’s meh. The film is directed by William Brent Bell, who directed The Boy and The Boy 2, which should set your expectations squarely in the Meh cinematic universe.

I do applaud the plotting of the film, it unlocks the puzzle of how to reuse a one use premise. 

Orphan: First Kill Poster

Here’s the elephant in the room. Isabelle Fuhrman is not 10 years old any more. No matter the amount of camera angles and the de-aging they use, she still looks like a full grown woman. It doesn’t detract from the film nearly as much as you would expect, but it is a bizarre choice nonetheless. Would you film a Home Alone Prequel with a fully grown Macaulay Culkin?

The saving grace of the film is the twist around the middle of the film. It does add an interesting dynamic, and saves it from being a true rehash.

Overall, you get what you expect. A little psychopath that kills a lot of people.

Score

5/10

Orphan: First Kill

Add it to your collection or rent it now.


There's a particular kind of conversation that happens after the credits roll on a scary movie, when you're dissecting the jump scares and debating the monster's motives. Horror Movie Talk captures that exact feeling, serving up weekly discussions that are as much about the genuine love of the genre as they are about critique. Hosted by a team whose passion is palpable, this podcast delves into everything from the latest chilling release haunting theaters to those hidden gems-or notorious flops-you can find on streaming services. The analysis is sharp and deeply opinionated, but the chemistry between the hosts often leads the conversation into unexpectedly funny territory. It’s this blend of thoughtful review and spontaneous humor that defines the show. You'll hear passionate debates about cinematic technique, nods to classic influences, and honest reactions to whether a film truly delivers the scares. Tuning in each Wednesday feels like pulling up a chair with friends who’ve just seen the same movie, armed with strong opinions and a willingness to laugh at the absurdities that make horror so enduring. For anyone who lives for that post-viewing breakdown, this is a consistently engaging listen.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 464

Horror Movie Talk
Podcast Episodes
Trap Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:23:24
Synopsis Trap is a movie that follows Cooper, a seemingly normal dad who takes his daughter, Riley, to her favorite artist’s concert. Once there, Cooper is told that the whole concert is a trap to catch a serial killer w…
Grave Encounters Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:25:58
Synopsis Grave Encounters follows a Zak Baggins/Ghost Adventures type crew while they film their first season of the titular show, constantly in search of new scares and not afraid to create their own for movie magic. Th…
Longlegs Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:22:57
Synopsis In Longlegs, the FBI is on a manhunt for a mysterious killer named Longlegs, who somehow convinces whole families to kill each other and themselves. Agent Lee Harker is on the case and she is quickly shown to ha…
Maxxxine Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:08:57
Synopsis Maxxxine follows the titular character as she attempts to leave the porno film industry and enter into mainstream Hollywood. She’s haunted by her past and is traumatized by the events of X that happened 6 years…
1408 Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:33:56
Synopsis 1408 is a film that follows Mike Enslin, played by John Cusack, a corny horror novelist who specializes in writing about the scariest, spookiest places he’s ever been. Although he spends a lot of time in “haunte…
The Exorcism Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:19:31
Synopsis The Exorcism is about Farther Gabriel Amorth played by Russel Crowe, who…wait no sorry that’s the popes exorcist I keep getting confused. The exorcism is really about Anthony or Tony played by Russel Crowe who i…
2 Girls 1 Cup Review and Reaction [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:16
https://youtu.be/lju9lJVRlGM Synopsis The film follows the lives of two women as they navigate an uncharted territory of human experience, exploring themes of desire, taboo, and the limits of societal norms. The narrativ…
The Watchers (2024) Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 0:00
Who watches the watchers? We do! In this episode of Horror Movie Talk, we review the nepo baby Ishana Night Shyamalan’s new horror movie The Watchers. Should you watch it? Watch to find out. Synopsis The watchers is the…
The Grudge (2004) Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:24:31
Synopsis The Grudge 2004 is an Americanized version of the movie Ju-on, a Japanese franchise about a curse of resentment and anger. Both Ju-on and The Grudge are directed by Takashi Shimizu, and the Grudge is produced by…