Orphan: First Kill Review

Orphan: First Kill Review

Author: Horror Movie Talk: Horror Movie Review September 7, 2022 Duration: 1:24:29

Much like disposable tupperware, Orphan: First Kill rebels against the idea of a one-use premise. It ends up being the latest entry in the “meh” cinematic universe (MCU).

https://youtu.be/mCa51cjcDNE
Orphan: First Kill Featured Image
Artwork by Dustin Goebel. Follow @dgoebel00 on instagram.

Synopsis

Orphan First Kill is a prequel to 2009’s Orphan, that starred, then 10 year old Isabelle Fuhrman. Now a fully grown adult woman, she is reprising her role as Esther, a thirty something year old psychopathic proportional dwarf posing as an 8-9 year old girl. In this film, we are shown how Esther escapes an Estonian mental facility and poses as an American family’s lost daughter. As time goes on, the family has more questions about Esther, and Esther has more questions about the family. Hjinks ensue.

https://youtu.be/_uX6of3vBu0
Orphan: First Kill Trailer

Review of Orphan: First Kill

This is not a good movie, it’s not a bad movie, it’s meh. The film is directed by William Brent Bell, who directed The Boy and The Boy 2, which should set your expectations squarely in the Meh cinematic universe.

I do applaud the plotting of the film, it unlocks the puzzle of how to reuse a one use premise. 

Orphan: First Kill Poster

Here’s the elephant in the room. Isabelle Fuhrman is not 10 years old any more. No matter the amount of camera angles and the de-aging they use, she still looks like a full grown woman. It doesn’t detract from the film nearly as much as you would expect, but it is a bizarre choice nonetheless. Would you film a Home Alone Prequel with a fully grown Macaulay Culkin?

The saving grace of the film is the twist around the middle of the film. It does add an interesting dynamic, and saves it from being a true rehash.

Overall, you get what you expect. A little psychopath that kills a lot of people.

Score

5/10

Orphan: First Kill

Add it to your collection or rent it now.


There's a particular kind of conversation that happens after the credits roll on a scary movie, when you're dissecting the jump scares and debating the monster's motives. Horror Movie Talk captures that exact feeling, serving up weekly discussions that are as much about the genuine love of the genre as they are about critique. Hosted by a team whose passion is palpable, this podcast delves into everything from the latest chilling release haunting theaters to those hidden gems-or notorious flops-you can find on streaming services. The analysis is sharp and deeply opinionated, but the chemistry between the hosts often leads the conversation into unexpectedly funny territory. It’s this blend of thoughtful review and spontaneous humor that defines the show. You'll hear passionate debates about cinematic technique, nods to classic influences, and honest reactions to whether a film truly delivers the scares. Tuning in each Wednesday feels like pulling up a chair with friends who’ve just seen the same movie, armed with strong opinions and a willingness to laugh at the absurdities that make horror so enduring. For anyone who lives for that post-viewing breakdown, this is a consistently engaging listen.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 464

Horror Movie Talk
Podcast Episodes
Talk To Me Review with Jordyn Wilson [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 0:00
In A24’s newest horror movie, we get the expected mix of horror, dread, and emotion that you expect with the brand. Synopsis Talk to Me is about a young group of friends who get wrapped into the latest social media trend…
Willy’s Wonderland Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:13:18
Willy’s Wonderland can be found on Hulu right now, but who knows once this comes out. Synopsis Willy’s Wonderland follows a nameless cool guy in sunglasses played by Nic Cage as he stumbles into an intricate and deadly t…
Shutter (2004) Review with Dustin Goebel [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 0:00
Does this Shutter make you shudder? I’ll see myself out… Synopsis After a night out with friends, a photographer named Tun and his girlfriend Jane are driving home when they accidentally hit a woman in the street. Instea…
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:27:49
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a fun, action/comedy that makes you wonder why it took so long to get a decent D&D movie made. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out…
Barbie Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 0:00
Come on Barbie let’s go cry, oh oh no. Synopsis Barbie is about a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world Life in plastic, it’s fantastic That’s until she starts having intrusive thoughts of death, and her body undergoes changes…
Renfield Review with Guest Host Erin Hanson [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 0:00
Is it a horror movie or an action movie? It doesn’t matter, Nic Cage turns in one of the best performances of his career. Synopsis Renfield tells the story of Count Dracula’s titular servant struggling to become self act…
The Village (2004) Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:20:11
The Village was voted on by our patrons who have very good taste, because this M. Night movie still works. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/sTG…
Audition Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 0:00
Audition is just one of those movies, you know. Synopsis The film follows Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi) a widower that upon encouragement from his college age (?) son decides to find a new wife. After sharing his inte…
The Hobbit (1977) Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:27:50
We watched the Hobbit and were transported to Middle Earth to find gold, truth, and destiny. https://youtu.be/WqGzCOL3XU4 Synopsis A Little person named Bilbo is whisked away from his home by other little people and thei…
The Omen (1976) Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 0:00
The demon child cursed our recording session. Listen to take three of this episode where I was sucked of all life. Synopsis Gregory Peck plays Robert Thorn, a wealthy and politically influential man who unbeknownst to hi…