Orphan: First Kill Review

Orphan: First Kill Review

Author: Horror Movie Talk: Horror Movie Review September 7, 2022 Duration: 1:24:29

Much like disposable tupperware, Orphan: First Kill rebels against the idea of a one-use premise. It ends up being the latest entry in the “meh” cinematic universe (MCU).

https://youtu.be/mCa51cjcDNE
Orphan: First Kill Featured Image
Artwork by Dustin Goebel. Follow @dgoebel00 on instagram.

Synopsis

Orphan First Kill is a prequel to 2009’s Orphan, that starred, then 10 year old Isabelle Fuhrman. Now a fully grown adult woman, she is reprising her role as Esther, a thirty something year old psychopathic proportional dwarf posing as an 8-9 year old girl. In this film, we are shown how Esther escapes an Estonian mental facility and poses as an American family’s lost daughter. As time goes on, the family has more questions about Esther, and Esther has more questions about the family. Hjinks ensue.

https://youtu.be/_uX6of3vBu0
Orphan: First Kill Trailer

Review of Orphan: First Kill

This is not a good movie, it’s not a bad movie, it’s meh. The film is directed by William Brent Bell, who directed The Boy and The Boy 2, which should set your expectations squarely in the Meh cinematic universe.

I do applaud the plotting of the film, it unlocks the puzzle of how to reuse a one use premise. 

Orphan: First Kill Poster

Here’s the elephant in the room. Isabelle Fuhrman is not 10 years old any more. No matter the amount of camera angles and the de-aging they use, she still looks like a full grown woman. It doesn’t detract from the film nearly as much as you would expect, but it is a bizarre choice nonetheless. Would you film a Home Alone Prequel with a fully grown Macaulay Culkin?

The saving grace of the film is the twist around the middle of the film. It does add an interesting dynamic, and saves it from being a true rehash.

Overall, you get what you expect. A little psychopath that kills a lot of people.

Score

5/10

Orphan: First Kill

Add it to your collection or rent it now.


There's a particular kind of conversation that happens after the credits roll on a scary movie, when you're dissecting the jump scares and debating the monster's motives. Horror Movie Talk captures that exact feeling, serving up weekly discussions that are as much about the genuine love of the genre as they are about critique. Hosted by a team whose passion is palpable, this podcast delves into everything from the latest chilling release haunting theaters to those hidden gems-or notorious flops-you can find on streaming services. The analysis is sharp and deeply opinionated, but the chemistry between the hosts often leads the conversation into unexpectedly funny territory. It’s this blend of thoughtful review and spontaneous humor that defines the show. You'll hear passionate debates about cinematic technique, nods to classic influences, and honest reactions to whether a film truly delivers the scares. Tuning in each Wednesday feels like pulling up a chair with friends who’ve just seen the same movie, armed with strong opinions and a willingness to laugh at the absurdities that make horror so enduring. For anyone who lives for that post-viewing breakdown, this is a consistently engaging listen.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 464

Horror Movie Talk
Podcast Episodes
My Bloody Valentine (1981) Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:54:06
My Bloody Valentine is another slasher from the early slasher days, where the formula is generic, the kills are frequent, and there’s probably a boob floating around out there for the dudes in the audience. @dgoebel00 on…
Saint Maud Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 2:00:46
We went and saw Saint Maud, and Oh god, Oh God, Oh gooood! @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/EXs2-TY9qok Saint Maud can be found on Epix streami…
Pieces Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:26:39
We watched Pieces on Shudder, and it was a fun if extremely dated slasher from 1982. It’s got intensely awkward scenes, lots of nudity, and is the ultimate form of copycat slasher bullshit. Listen to Horror Movie Talk’s…
Young Frankenstein Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:55:20
This week we rewatched Mel Brooks’ comedy horror masterpiece, Young Frankenstein, and with the recent passing of Cloris Leachman, I’m starting to think that the cast are immortal warriors battling until the last man stan…
The Dark and the Wicked Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:41:17
We have been told that we needed to see The Dark and the Wicked by several of our friends and listeners, and I can see why. This is a scary movie if paranormal subject matter is your thing. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provid…
Jaws Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 2:36:56
Jaws is the archetypal monster movie blockbuster, and for good reason, It’s great! Spielberg and the principle actors do a fantastic job of capturing the dread and dangers of the sea and the eponymous shark. @dgoebel00 o…
Hellhouse LLC Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:28:57
Our patrons decided that it was time for us to review Hellhouse LLC, and frankly, I’m not even mad. This is a found footage movie about a Halloween spookhouse from 2015 and it does a pretty great job at unnerving me late…
Best and Worst Horror Movies of 2020: The Talkies [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:31:13
This week we are having a different kind of show. This show we are looking back at the delightsome year that was 2020, and awarding the best and worst of Horror Movie Talk. This is fine. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided…
Terror Train Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:41:47
Terror Train is slasher set on a train during New Years Eve. That’s pretty much all you need to know. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/MLTllP-_…
Krampus (2015) Review [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 1:16:00
We watched Krampus because it’s one of the biggest blockbuster releases in recent memory that is Christmas themed and for a PG-13 movie, it wraps a nice little present. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwo…