Terror Train is slasher set on a train during New Years Eve. That’s pretty much all you need to know.
@dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website.
https://youtu.be/MLTllP-_i58
Synopsis
It’s set in an alternate universe where people celebrate new years, by chartering a train for an eyes wide shut style costume party fuck fest, people never disclose pertinent life and death information, and David Copperfield is sexy.
At the opening of the film, we are introduced to a group of friends including the ring leader Doc (Hart Bochner), and a sorority sister, and final girl expert Jamie Lee Curtis playing Alana. By the way, this was shot only a year after the release of Jamie’s breakout role in Halloween.
The beginning of the movie is set 3 years prior, on a fateful new years celebration where this group of friends punk-ed a fraternity pledge student so hard that he spun himself into an insane asylum.
3 Years later, during the train ride, the students start getting murdered by a mysterious… almost magical killer.
Review or Terror Train
I picked Terror Train because I was trying to find a horror movie set during New Year’s, and apparently the picking is very slim, because this is considered “the good one”. It isn’t.
The plot, like most slashers, is incidental, and is held together by a thread composed of awful dialogue and terrible direction.
I was honestly confused about what happened in the opening scene, because I didn’t know if I was supposed to understand that the dead body featured was a murder victim, or a medical school cadaver. I guess all we need to know is that the victim of the prank was pranked TOO HARD.
The dialogue is truly laughably bad, it feels like the adlibbed lines in the fast forwarded parts of pornos.
I was bored throughout the whole film, and not because I was tired, but because it was boring and dumb.
The most dread filled moment of the movie was when I checked the time code, and I had half of the movie left to watch.
There were two things that almost saved the movie for me though.
David Copperfield as the magician reminding me that only a magician can be as creepy as a magician.
The ending was so dumb I laughed out loud.
Score
2/10
Terror Train
Add the Blu-ray to your collection or stream it now
There's a particular kind of conversation that happens after the credits roll on a scary movie, when you're dissecting the jump scares and debating the monster's motives. Horror Movie Talk captures that exact feeling, serving up weekly discussions that are as much about the genuine love of the genre as they are about critique. Hosted by a team whose passion is palpable, this podcast delves into everything from the latest chilling release haunting theaters to those hidden gems-or notorious flops-you can find on streaming services. The analysis is sharp and deeply opinionated, but the chemistry between the hosts often leads the conversation into unexpectedly funny territory. It’s this blend of thoughtful review and spontaneous humor that defines the show. You'll hear passionate debates about cinematic technique, nods to classic influences, and honest reactions to whether a film truly delivers the scares. Tuning in each Wednesday feels like pulling up a chair with friends who’ve just seen the same movie, armed with strong opinions and a willingness to laugh at the absurdities that make horror so enduring. For anyone who lives for that post-viewing breakdown, this is a consistently engaging listen.
Author: Horror Movie Talk: Horror Movie Review
Language: English
Episodes: 464
In this episode we are given Theodora’s back story and are shown how keenly perceptive she is as a therapist as she helps a young girl being haunted by “Mr. Smiley”.
This is the story of how Theo became the funeral director that she is today. It also does a good amount of setup for many episodes to come. The Haunting of Hill House
In the first episode of the series, we are introduced to the Crain family, both past and present. First we are shown the young Crain family being awoken by the young Nell (Violet McGraw) who apparently had seen “the bent…
Rosemary’s Baby is probably in the top ten most influential horror movies ever made. It prays on the rational and irrational fears of something truly universal, pregnancy. This movie is controversial, well-done, and impo…
At long last, and after much misunderstanding, we turn to the 1984 cult classic (at least in Sweden apparently) Rats: Night of Terror. We did it. It’s done. Let’s never talk of it again. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided…
Friday the 13th Part 2 is the continuation and borderline recreation of the first part in the franchise. The old proverb, “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.” rings so true in this sequel that I’m not even mad that I watche…
We watched Bats on Tubi because Magnus, our Swedish super-fan has been clamoring for it for months. Our fans have united behind Magnus and demanded that we review Bats, and I have to say, I get it! It was a fun movie wit…
We rented Trick ‘r Treat, and it’s Pulp Fiction for horror fans. This episode we are joined with my wife and discuss some of the recent one-star reviews we have gotten. The salt flows, and then we play a new game “Sense…
We saw Possessor Uncut, which is a new flick released in 2020, and wow, what a disturbing masterpiece. This came highly recommended to us by our hard-fucking artist, Dustin Goebel, and I was not let down. @dgoebel00 on I…
