Underwater (Movie) Review

There isn’t a whole lot to spoil in this movie. If you read my synopsis, you kind of get it. The monster(s) are really the x-factor and the interesting part of this movie, along with the journey to the bottom of the sea.

Kids Piloting Multi-Trillion Dollar Drilling Rigs

Ok, this is going to make me sound like a wet, old fart, but goddamnit I’m going to say it anyway. Twenty somethings are not who I would expect to be the focus of this movie. There’s a freaking intern for Christ-sake!

For another totally implausible underwater scenario, check out our review of The Meg

Haggard men in their thirties and forties are the key demo here, both in real life and in movies of old based on similar situations. Call me sexist, but it’s true!

Here is a list of movies that show remote places and bad situations for what they are – stinky and men-ridden:

• The Thing
• Blood Diamond
• Alien
• Aliens
• Alien³

“But David, three of those movies have a female lead!” That’s the exception that proves the rule. Apart from Aliens, Sigourney Weaver is almost the only female in the whole damn movie, and she looks as stinky and gross as the men she hangs with.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this because to be honest, Underwater wouldn’t be nearly as attractive without Stewart at the helm. So maybe I’ll just swallow my vaguely sexist criticism and enjoy the kids piloting the world’s most expensive/dangerous drilling project.

The Monster(s)

We are introduced to the monsters early and often, but rarely do we get a solid look at them until the very end, which I appreciate.

We get to see fleeting quick glimpses of strange blurry hands and octo-faces darting around. Mostly we get to see the remains of others that the monsters leave behind.

Eventually, at the crescendo, we see a bevvy of the monsters hanging from – you guessed it – the bottom of the Roebuck drilling station that our surviving crew needs to enter. As the crew make their way through the forest of limp floating arms of the creatures, the awake.

They are hideous and effective, but obviously small compared to something else that we hear throughout the movie – the leviathan!

The leviathan is a truly massive monster, larger than most Kaiju I’ve seen. probably on par with Cthullu. The most interesting part about the leviathan is that the smaller humanoid creatures seem to live on it, and do it’s bidding.

I liked the monster(s), which is rare for me.