This week I'm joined by Dr Chloe Paidoussis-Mitchell, psychologist and grief specialist, and one of the most compassionate voices helping people understand loss in all its forms.
What we share isn't about moving on. It's about patients and people who've carried grief in silence for years and finally found a way through.
What we explore together:
- Why the goal of grief isn't to "get over it" and what it actually means to heal
- Why grief doesn't follow the five stages and why that model was never designed for bereavement
- The losses no one talks about: divorce, estrangement, childlessness, leaving your home country, loneliness
- How the brain maps the people we love and why grief feels so physically disorienting
- How to actually help someone who is grieving and why a text message isn't enough
- What a friendship breakup really does to us, and how to make sense of it
- The signs you're dysregulated and what your body is trying to tell you
- A simple technique to create a safe space in your mind for moments of overwhelm
If you or someone you love is carrying grief of any kind, whether or not there has been a death this one is for you.
Love, Sarah Ann 💛
Dr Chloe's book 'Loss: A Prescription': https://www.amazon.co.uk/Loss-Prescription-practical-roadmap-recovery/dp/0008617201
My book 'Healthy Shouldn't Be This Hard': https://www.amazon.co.uk/Healthy-Shouldnt-Be-This-Hard-ebook/dp/B0G1DHNRV5
This episode is sponsored by:
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Timestamps
02:59 — Introduction: What grief actually is and why "getting over it" is the wrong goal
05:03 — Why we live in a grief illiterate world
09:51 — How to get comfortable processing your emotions
12:50 — Why distraction is a problematic coping mechanism
13:21 — Grief beyond death: divorce, estrangement, childlessness and loneliness
15:03 — Chloe's personal story: how she became a grief specialist
21:11 — The neuroscience of grief: how the brain maps the people we love
27:33 — How long does grief actually last?
31:12 — What to say (and not say) to someone who is grieving
33:51 — Why the five stages of grief is a myth
41:20 — How to actually help someone: don't ask, just show up
46:15 — Why having friends is the biggest predictor of longevity
48:46 — Friendship breakups: the grief no one talks about
64:37 — "It's a reflection of their capacity, not your worth"
67:26 — A simple safe space technique for moments of overwhelm
70:07 — Signs you are dysregulated — and what to do about it
76:19 — Final advice: how to begin healing
