'Full Blown Gay...' - with J3M

'Full Blown Gay...' - with J3M

Author: lost queer spaces September 11, 2024 Duration: 36:00

I sometimes rail against this notion of 'chosen family', and I always assumed that the reason I did this was because somewhere in the back of my head I was just jealous of other people who happened to find that and make that happen for themselves because that's not been my experience.

But, I had a bit of a moment of realisation in this week's conversation.

I think the reason that the concept makes me feel a bit icky is because it's almost always spoken about as this wonderful thing that everyone should aspire to, when actually the only reason it exists is due to necessity. Chosen family are there to support you when your biological family fail you.

And, yes, it's amazing, and yes, people are lucky to find these chosen families, but it's almost over-romanticised and made out to be the solution to all of your problems.

Or, maybe it is that i'm just jealous. Who knows?

Anyway, I had this epiphany when I was talking to this week's guest, the singer/songwriter J3M.

We sat down to talk about The Barn, in Toronto, Canada, and along the way we talk about being in the grips of religion, running away to the big city, and the importance of his chosen family.


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Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties is a series of intimate conversations about the venues and parties that have served as crucial backdrops for queer life. Host K Anderson guides each episode with a gentle curiosity, focusing on a single guest’s personal connection to a place that no longer exists in the same way. These are not dry historical accounts, but vivid, emotional recollections. You’ll hear about the specific bar where someone first felt seen, the underground club that provided a sanctuary, or the party where a community solidified. The discussions naturally delve into how these environments fostered identity, provided safety, and built the networks that define so many LGBTQ+ lives. This podcast operates on the understanding that a physical space is often the container for our most formative experiences-first kisses, political awakenings, chosen families. By documenting these lost spaces through personal narrative, the show archives a living history of queer culture that exists beyond official records. The tone is reflective and often poignant, as guests explore not just what these places were, but what their absence means. It’s about the lingering impact of a closed door, and how the memories forged in those rooms continue to resonate. Listening feels like being part of a necessary preservation project, one story at a time, highlighting why these communal hubs were, and remain, vital to health and well-being. Each episode is a specific journey into a memory, making the broader point about collective loss and resilience without ever needing to state it outright.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties
Podcast Episodes
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Duration: 6:10
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