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Control Is Not Our Culture: Honour-Based Abuse

Control Is Not Our Culture: Honour-Based Abuse

Author: Soul Sutras July 15, 2026 Duration: 23:45
Masala Podcast: The South Asian feminist podcast
SocietySociety & CultureCultureEducationJournalsPersonalSelf Improvement

Is It Culture or Is It Control? The Truth About 'Honour'-Based Abuse

SPECIAL EPISODE IN PARTNERSHIP WITH THE UK GOVERNMENT

What do you think of when you hear the words ‘Honour’-Based Abuse? If you think it doesn’t happen to people like you, in cosmopolitan cities like London, then this is a must-listen episode.

This week, I, Sangeeta Pillai, am talking about something deeply important and often misunderstood: ‘Honour’-Based Abuse (HBA). This isn't just a distant headline; it's a reality for thousands of women in the UK, from all walks of life. I’ll share my own personal story of facing an arranged marriage, and we'll unpack the shocking statistics that show HBA is more common than you think.

Let’s do what we always do on Masala Podcast. Let's grab a cup of chai, sit down, and talk about the things we’re not supposed to talk about. Because pressure, control, and fear are not our culture.

Support Resources

If you or someone you know is experiencing ‘honour’-based abuse, please know that you are not alone and confidential, free help is available.

  • Karma Nirvana: A specialist charity for victims of honour-based abuse and forced marriage.
  • UK Helpline: 0800 5999 247 (Monday - Friday: 9am - 5pm)
  • Website: https://karmanirvana.org.uk/
  • Forced Marriage Unit: +44 (0)20 7008 0151
  • Southall Black Sisters: Providing information and support for Black and minority women experiencing violence and abuse.
  • Helpline: 020 8571 0800
  • Website: https://southallblacksisters.org.uk/
  • Refuge (National Domestic Abuse Helpline): Free, 24-hour confidential support for women experiencing domestic abuse, including HBA.
  • Helpline: 0808 2000 247
  • Website: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/
  • In an emergency, always call 999.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

  • What ‘Honour’-Based Abuse Really Is: Understanding the official definition beyond the headlines.
  • My Personal Story: I share my own experience of being pressured into an arranged marriage at 18.
  • The Shocking Reality of HBA in the UK: Exploring the latest statistics from Karma Nirvana, including the fact that cases have risen by 35% since 2022.
  • Who Are the Victims?: HBA happens to educated, professional women (and men). We look at the data on age, location, and ethnicity.
  • The Triggers for Abuse: From family disputes and having a boyfriend to simply "being female."
  • Stories of Survival: Fictionalised but realistic stories of women like 'Layla' and 'Sonia' to show what coercive control and forced marriage can look like.
  • Understanding Coercive Control: How abuse can be silent, emotional, and financial, leaving no physical bruises.
  • The Burden of "Shame" and "Honour": Why these two powerful words stop so many women from seeking help.
  • How You Can Help: Learning to spot the signs of HBA and understanding that culture is never an excuse for abuse.

Thank you for listening to Masala Podcast. Please share this episode with your friends and family—you never know who might need to hear it.

Connect with me on Instagram at @soulsutras or email me at email@soulsutras.co.uk with your thoughts - I'd love to hear from you.

This episode is edited by The Podcasting Company @https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepodcastingcompany/


There's a particular kind of conversation that happens when the formalities drop away and real talk begins-the kind that tackles what's often whispered about but rarely discussed openly in many communities. That's the space Masala Podcast: The South Asian feminist podcast occupies. Created by Soul Sutras, this multi-award-winning series deliberately turns its attention toward cultural taboos, from sex and sexuality to periods, menopause, and the complexities of mental health. It moves beyond surface-level discussions to dissect shame, sexual harassment, and porn through a specific, vital lens. What you'll hear is a rich exploration of intersectional feminism as it's lived and understood by South Asian women, making it a standout in its field. Each episode brings forward the voices and views of some of the world's most inspiring South Asian women, offering stories and analysis that are both deeply personal and broadly resonant. Tuning into this podcast feels like joining a necessary, candid dialogue that challenges silence and redefines narratives. The conversations are as nuanced and varied as the experiences they represent, creating a collective sense of understanding and progress. It’s more than just a listening experience; it’s an immersion into perspectives that are crucial, often overlooked, and powerfully transformative.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

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