I’m Black, Even if You Don’t See it

I’m Black, Even if You Don’t See it

Author: The New York Times September 30, 2026 Duration: 54:38
For most of her life, Kelly McWilliams has felt as though people aren’t seeing her clearly. Kelly is biracial, and she was raised to be proud of her identity: she grew up surrounded by African American culture and literature. But when she walks into a room, a lot of people perceive her as a white woman. And when she does tell people she’s Black, the situation can get uncomfortable, even scary, very fast. On this episode of “Modern Love,” McWilliams tells the host, Anna Martin, about the ways her mixed-race identity has affected her relationships and her work. Kelly’s new book, “American Nightmare,” is about a Black man who passes for white and ends up working as a spy for the N.A.A.C.P. The idea of being a spy, of entering spaces and situations without anyone knowing your true identity, is very personal for Kelly. But, she says, after years of being mistaken for someone she’s not, she has learned to be loud about who she really is.

For two decades, the Modern Love column in The New York Times has offered a uniquely intimate window into how people navigate relationships, heartbreak, and connection. That same spirit of honest, personal storytelling finds its voice in this weekly podcast, hosted by Anna Martin. Here, the written essays are brought to life, often by notable actors, and expanded upon through Martin’s thoughtful conversations with the authors and other guests. They delve into the aftermath of the published story, exploring what was learned and how lives have unfolded since. You’ll hear about love in its many forms-romantic, familial, platonic, and self-love-across a spectrum of experiences that are by turns heartbreaking, awkward, humorous, and profoundly uplifting. This isn’t about fairytales, but the real, messy, and transformative moments that define us. The Modern Love podcast, from The New York Times, continues that essential tradition of sharing our most vulnerable stories to see our own lives more clearly. New episodes arrive every Wednesday.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

Modern Love
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