If You Want This Kind of Love, Don’t Expect It to Be Easy

If You Want This Kind of Love, Don’t Expect It to Be Easy

Author: The New York Times March 5, 2025 Duration: 40:58
When Samaiya Mushtaq was growing up, she imagined marrying a kind Muslim man, and at 21, she did. But while studying to become a psychiatrist in medical school, she realized her husband couldn’t meet her emotional needs — something she deeply craved. Despite the shame she felt, she got a divorce. In this episode, Mushtaq shares the twists and turns of her unexpected second chance at love, where service is at the center. From working in health care during the pandemic to building a family to undertaking harrowing service trips to Gaza, she found what she truly needed in a marriage — only after letting go of what she thought she wanted. Samaiya Mushtaq’s memoir will be published by Daybreak Press next winter. This episode was inspired by her 2023 essay, “Must We Feel Shame Over Divorce?” Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story

For two decades, the Modern Love column in The New York Times has offered a uniquely intimate window into how people navigate relationships, heartbreak, and connection. That same spirit of honest, personal storytelling finds its voice in this weekly podcast, hosted by Anna Martin. Here, the written essays are brought to life, often by notable actors, and expanded upon through Martin’s thoughtful conversations with the authors and other guests. They delve into the aftermath of the published story, exploring what was learned and how lives have unfolded since. You’ll hear about love in its many forms-romantic, familial, platonic, and self-love-across a spectrum of experiences that are by turns heartbreaking, awkward, humorous, and profoundly uplifting. This isn’t about fairytales, but the real, messy, and transformative moments that define us. The Modern Love podcast, from The New York Times, continues that essential tradition of sharing our most vulnerable stories to see our own lives more clearly. New episodes arrive every Wednesday.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Modern Love
Podcast Episodes
Myha’la’s Relationship Advice? Get in a Fight. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:23
On the HBO high finance drama “Industry,” basically everyone serves cruel insults. It’s part of the culture at their bank, Pierpoint. But Myha’la’s character, Harper Stern, goes after friends and enemies with deep, cutti…
Gillian Anderson Wants to Hear Your Sexiest Fantasies [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 33:06
The actor Gillian Anderson (“The X-Files,” “The Fall,” “Sex Education”) has become an advocate for sexual openness, whether through her on-screen personas, launching a libido-boosting soda brand, attending the Golden Glo…
Peter Gallagher’s Marriage Advice? Don’t Get Divorced. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:11
Actor Peter Gallagher (Sex, Lies, & Videotape and The O.C.) met his wife, Paula Harwood, over forty years ago in college in a stairwell meet-cute. Since then, they’ve maintained a loving marriage and managed to raise a f…
Laufey, Gen Z’s Pop Jazz Icon, Sings for the Anxious Generation [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 27:04
Laufey, the 25-year-old singer-songwriter, has risen to prominence by taking the trials of today’s dating world — casual relationships, no labels and seemingly endless swiping on apps — and turning them into timeless lov…
Why John Magaro of ‘Past Lives’ Could Never Love a Picky Eater [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:52
The actor John Magaro is picky about whom he goes to dinner with. Magaro is an adventurous eater. So whether he’s buying offal from the butcher, making stews from the 1800s or falling in love over a plate of rabbit, he s…
Esther Perel on What the Other Woman Knows [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 28:16
Over the last two decades, Esther Perel has become a world-famous couples therapist by persistently advocating frank conversations about infidelity, sex and intimacy. Today, Perel reads one of the most provocative Modern…
The Second Best Way to Get Divorced, According to Maya Hawke [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:40
When Maya Hawke’s famous parents got divorced, she was just a little kid trying to navigate their newly separate worlds. Paparazzi aside, Maya’s experience of shuttling between two homes was still more common than the ar…