Stop Looking for the Perfect Partner

Stop Looking for the Perfect Partner

Author: The New York Times March 15, 2023 Duration: 21:35
“The only three men I had ever imagined a future with all told me that something was missing,” Oz Johnson wrote in her Modern Love essay. When Oz was 23, her boyfriend said she met 99 percent of his criteria, but she was missing 1 percent. Over a decade later, another man broke up with her via email. Their love was almost perfect, he said, but not enough to last. What is this missing, unquantifiable feeling? Oz used to be haunted by these rejections, but now she has come to embrace the search for imperfect love. After: Nancy Cardwell wasn’t looking for love — but then, at 58 years old, she fell passionately in love with tango. Her newfound zeal for the dance took her to Buenos Aires, where she fell in love again — this time, with a man named Luis.

For two decades, the Modern Love column in The New York Times has offered a uniquely intimate window into how people navigate relationships, heartbreak, and connection. That same spirit of honest, personal storytelling finds its voice in this weekly podcast, hosted by Anna Martin. Here, the written essays are brought to life, often by notable actors, and expanded upon through Martin’s thoughtful conversations with the authors and other guests. They delve into the aftermath of the published story, exploring what was learned and how lives have unfolded since. You’ll hear about love in its many forms-romantic, familial, platonic, and self-love-across a spectrum of experiences that are by turns heartbreaking, awkward, humorous, and profoundly uplifting. This isn’t about fairytales, but the real, messy, and transformative moments that define us. The Modern Love podcast, from The New York Times, continues that essential tradition of sharing our most vulnerable stories to see our own lives more clearly. New episodes arrive every Wednesday.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 445

Modern Love
Podcast Episodes
Author Read: He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:03
Jessica Slice reads her Modern Love essay, “He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him." To hear our conversation with Jessica, listen to the episode: “He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him.”
He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:51
When Jessica Slice started dating a man named David, there was a lot to like about him. They could nerd out about books and board games, he was thoughtful and kind. But Jessica had a problem. The more caring David was, t…
Did I Fail as a Parent? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 29:12
Rick Reiss was scared for his teenage son, Gabriel. Gabe was struggling with depression and mood swings, and no amount of therapy or medication seemed to work. But when Gabe became violent, Rick wasn’t just scared for hi…
Author Read: My Sweaty Revenge [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 11:30
Christi Clancy reads her Modern Love essay, “Revenge of the Friend." To hear our conversation with Christi, listen to the episode: “My Sweaty Revenge.”
My Sweaty Revenge [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 18:47
Christi Clancy had been avoiding her best friend’s ex-husband. He’d unexpectedly left her friend for another woman. After supporting her friend through the pain and heartbreak, Christi couldn’t help but resent the ex-hus…
I Wrote This Essay, but Then Changed My Mind [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:06
Heather Sellers wrote her Modern Love essay in 2013, about reconnecting with her elderly, estranged father. Although their relationship was painful, Heather made sure that her last words to her father were “I love you.”…
Author Read: What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 13:09
Deanna Fei reads her Modern Love essay, “To Keep but Not Be Kept." To hear our conversation with Deanna, listen to the episode: “What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?”
What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 27:04
Deanna Fei did not need a man. She was in her 20s, living in Shanghai on a Fulbright scholarship, writing her first novel: a book about fiercely independent Chinese women, very much like Deanna herself. Growing up as a f…
Author Read: Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 13:55
Susan Gelles reads her Modern Love essay, “Single, and Surrounded by a Wall of Men." To hear our conversation with Susan, listen to the episode: “Don't Hide in the Bathroom Stall.”
Don’t Hide in the Bathroom Stall [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:56
Susan Gelles was a lawyer in her 30s who was too busy to find love. But after finally admitting that she was lonely, Susan did something that went against all her best instincts. She started attending singles mixers. On…