The Shame Game

The Shame Game

Author: The New York Times July 20, 2022 Duration: 20:25
The year was 2006, and Damon Young had just met a woman on MySpace. Their back-and-forth was witty, flirty and easy. They went on a first date at Barnes & Noble, where they browsed books and continued to vibe. Things were going great, Damon thought. That is, until she called off their second date. Damon was confused, but he had a hunch about what fueled her sudden disinterest: his teeth. Damon’s teeth had always been a source of shame and anxiety for him. “I know that in America, good, strong, bright, straight teeth signal good, strong, bright, straight money,” he wrote in his Modern Love essay. “My mouth is a memoir. Of canceled orthodontist appointments when my parents couldn’t afford the premium.” Today, Damon shares his story about his complicated, evolving relationship with his teeth — and his self-worth. Then, we hear a Tiny Love Story about a woman who reflects on her mother’s ritual of doing her hair when she was a child, which she comes to realize was a sign of love.

For two decades, the Modern Love column in The New York Times has offered a uniquely intimate window into how people navigate relationships, heartbreak, and connection. That same spirit of honest, personal storytelling finds its voice in this weekly podcast, hosted by Anna Martin. Here, the written essays are brought to life, often by notable actors, and expanded upon through Martin’s thoughtful conversations with the authors and other guests. They delve into the aftermath of the published story, exploring what was learned and how lives have unfolded since. You’ll hear about love in its many forms-romantic, familial, platonic, and self-love-across a spectrum of experiences that are by turns heartbreaking, awkward, humorous, and profoundly uplifting. This isn’t about fairytales, but the real, messy, and transformative moments that define us. The Modern Love podcast, from The New York Times, continues that essential tradition of sharing our most vulnerable stories to see our own lives more clearly. New episodes arrive every Wednesday.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 445

Modern Love
Podcast Episodes
Author Read: Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:19
Khalid Abdulqaadir reads his Modern Love essay, “The Polygraph Test That Saved My Marriage." To hear our conversation with Khalid, listen to the episode: “Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?”
Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 30:28
Khalid Abdulqaadir’s life was full of secrets. He started keeping them when he was a teenager, after his father was accused of an unimaginable crime. He didn’t want to explain his family history every time he started a n…
I Needed David Schwimmer’s Help [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:03
Samantha Joseph’s childhood was scattered with golden trips to California to visit her Aunt Gail. Aunt Gail was the cool aunt. She worked in Hollywood and befriended actors like Robin Williams, Mayim Bialik and the cast…
Essay Read: I Had To Stop Asking Why [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:24
Samantha Joseph reads her Modern Love essay, “I Had to Stop Asking Why.” You can listen to Anna’s interview with Samantha in the “Modern Love” podcast feed - the episode is called “I Needed David Schwimmer’s Help:.
Essay Read: How I Lost the Fiancé But Won the Honeymoon [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 12:06
Nell Stephens reads her Modern Love essay, “How I Lost the Financé but Won the Honeymoon.” You can listen to Anna’s interview with Nell in the “Modern Love” podcast feed. You can also read Nell’s essay on the New York Ti…
How I Lost the Fiancé But Won the Honeymoon [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 23:54
Bored and in love, Nell Stevens found a hobby combing the internet and entering her name into online contests. But, when she actually wins a prize — a luxury honeymoon in India — her world falls apart: The man she though…
My Invisible Husband [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 14:42
The last time David visited his ailing grandmother, he hid his wedding ring in his pocket. He’d never told her about his identity as a gay, married man. Fearful David’s grandmother would disown him, his family never told…
The Day My Family Changed Forever [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 23:13
Imagine you are on vacation. Your favorite shirt is waiting for you in your suitcase. You go to put it on, only to realize it’s not there. You forgot it, and there’s nothing you can do now. That’s an experience that play…
The Gift of Holiday Men [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:53
Kema Christian-Coates’s childhood was filled with “holiday men,” absentee fathers — including her own — who returned each year around Christmas only to disappear again. Her father’s absence left a hole in her life and th…
Sex on the Run? No, We Parked. [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 18:35
Having sex in a car is usually a last resort, born from the trappings of youth. For Susan Silas, it was a midlife necessity. While working as a production accountant on a sitcom, Susan met a teamster. Despite having litt…