423: Couples’ Intimacy After Baby Arrives with Dr. Shoshana Bennett

As we arrive at Episode 423, we’re celebrating 9 years of the Mom & Mind Podcast! I never imagined this possibility, but I’m so honored to share these profound stories and feature these helpful experts. I’m thankful to the real rockstars, every single listener. We continue to address every aspect of perinatal mental health, raising awareness and spreading a message of hope. Each person’s journey of vulnerability, difficulty, and healing is important, and we hope that the insights and resources we share can help others. I’m excited to bring you another episode with Dr. Shoshana Bennett, the very first expert guest to appear on the podcast way back in 2016.  After two life-threatening bouts of postpartum illness, Dr. Shoshana Bennett helped pioneer the field of maternal mental health in the US. She founded Postpartum Assistance for Mothers in 1987, became president of California’s Postpartum Health Alliance, and served as president of Postpartum Support International. Dr. Shosh is the author of Children of the Depressed, Postpartum Depression for Dummies, and Pregnant on Prozac. She co-authored Beyond the Blues: A Guide to Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression. She created the first app for postpartum depression and is an executive producer of the documentary, Dark Side of the Full Moon. Dr. Shosh co-founded the Postpartum Action Institute, which is committed to promoting parental health. To date, she has helped over 20,000 new parents around the world through private consultations, teleclasses, conferences, webinars, and support groups.  Show Highlights: Intimacy is SO much more than “just sex.” Examples of intimacy and connection Barriers to intimacy include assumptions, lack of communication, taking each other for granted, and not showing love in various ways. A lack of appreciation leads to a battle over who’s working harder and resentment. Dr. Shosh’s advice to couples to “get more of what you need.” The importance of being respectful instead of snappy, critical, and nasty (“YOU are responsible for what comes out of your mouth, whether you are sleep-deprived or not.”) Dates are important and should not be “back-burnered.” (Hear Dr. Shosh’s rules for dating when there is a new baby at home!) Anticipation of the next date is important! Get creative with physical intimacy! The key to intimacy is to approach a partner without complaining; we have to re-educate ourselves. Be intentional in your relationship. “Humor is golden and can help in difficult times.” (Laughing together adds to intimacy!) Resources: Connect with Dr. Shoshana Bennett:  Website Dr. Shosh’s past Mom & Mind episodes: 2, 3, and 154 Books and the documentary: Children of the Depressed, Postpartum Depression for Dummies, Pregnant on Prozac, Beyond the Blues: A Guide to Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression, and Dark Side of the Full Moon. Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources available, including online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to become more supportive in offering services.  You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.   Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today! If you are a California resident looking for a therapist in perinatal mental health, email me about openings for private pay clients! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices