Pregnancy Loss Grief After a Miscarriage: Surviving the Holidays, Part 3 (Ep. 461)

This is the 3rd in a four-part Behind the Sessions series about coping during the holidays with various perinatal mental health challenges. Today’s episode focuses on pregnancy loss. If you’re in a time of grief over the loss of a child, you are not alone. Many people are carrying deep feelings of grief and loss during a time when celebrating with sparkles of joy and peace feels painfully out of sync with their reality. You certainly didn’t ask for this, and now you have new, raw feelings to process. All of your feelings are real and valid. Everywhere you look, families are celebrating new babies and expected babies, and you may feel as if there is no safe space for your grief. You are probably experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions and waves of sadness and heartbreak. Let’s talk about how you can cope during this time of extreme pressure to “put on a happy face.” Show Highlights: This holiday season is NOT what you anticipated or prepared for. Most people are unsure of what to say, and many of them will say the wrong things. The love you have (for someone you never got to meet) deserves to be honored. Honor it in whatever ways you feel are best for you. Your body is impacted by pregnancy loss, along with the emotional toll. Don’t feel pressured to “show up” for others.  Two partners can experience and process grief in different ways; this can cause tension in your relationship. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Don’t feel like you should feel “a certain way.”  Reframe with self-compassion and understanding.  Find meaningful ways to remember your baby and give your grief a place to rest.  Plan ahead for family gatherings by setting boundaries/expectations. Don’t apologize for your grief and deep feelings of sadness. Support groups can be helpful when you’re ready for them. Grief is not linear with nicely packaged stages. Allow yourself to feel your emotions in whatever way works for you.  My hope for you: “Be easy on yourself, approach your grief with compassion, give yourself time to process your feelings, and don’t put pressure or timelines on your healing.” Resources: Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visitcdph.ca.gov. Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773.  There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms. Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/for information on the grief course.  Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today! If you are a California resident seeking a therapist in perinatal mental health, please email me about openings for private pay clients. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices