Intimacy After Kids: How to Restore Desire and Overcome Mismatched Libidos (Ep 465)

Before discussing today’s show, I’d like to provide some updates on what to expect from the podcast in 2026. First of all, there will be no more Behind the Sessions episodes. There could also be changes in the frequency of episodes at some point, but we’ll see how that goes. Life shifts and different needs arise that are pulling me in other directions. Everyone has times when shifts are needed to make space for pressing needs, and that’s what I’m experiencing in my life. I’m still excited about the show and the ten-year milestone that we’ll reach in 2026. Remember, the archive of episodes (almost 500!) is always available through our website.  Today’s episode brings important information about how parenthood changes everything, including your sex life. There are new complexities to intimacy and sex after having a child, and parents need to be prepared so they can protect their connection. Our expert guest answers questions about why passion fades, the sexual-emotional cycle that couples get stuck in, and the path back to each other in your relationship. Join us to learn more! Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and the author of Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids. Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy, she helps couples navigate sex, desire, and connection in the whirlwind of parenting, even when life and kids make it feel impossible.  Show Highlights: Understanding the role of a sex therapist, what sex therapy entails, and Rebecca’s journey to be a sex therapist Identity shifts and body changes that come with having a baby can greatly affect your sex life. There is much shame and stigma around talking about sex and sexuality. The need to be flexible and curious with your partner Factors that impact a couple’s ability to connect and be intimate: time, hormones, exhaustion, and resentment Focusing on the “micromoments” to show your connection to your partner Common themes in sex therapy for new parents Reinvesting in the partnership and understanding each other’s intimacy needs The need for disconnection and solitude (Everyone needs alone time!) The difficult mental shift from “Mommy mode” to adult partner Dealing with mismatched levels of desire, which could become more pronounced after kids Dr. Rebecca’s tips for finding your way back to your partner: Become comfortable talking about sex. Be flexible during the early-parent years. Be open to other intimacies besides intercourse. Consider scheduling sexual activity. Make sure your partner feels seen, appreciated, and desired. Find ways to protect your time for intimacy. The importance of pleasure in all forms of intimacy (“Nobody wants bad sex!”) Resources: Connect with Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy: Website, Instagram, and Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visitcdph.ca.gov. Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773.  There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms. Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/for information on the grief course.  Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!  If you are a California resident seeking a therapist in perinatal mental health, please email me about openings for private pay clients. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices