What happens when someone spends decades surviving instead of truly living?
In this deeply moving conversation, Heather sits down with queer figure skater, advocate, father, and podcast host Stef Vachon to talk about shame, bullying, identity, healing, and what it means to finally come home to yourself.
Growing up in a small French Canadian town in the 1970s and 80s, Stef endured relentless homophobia, isolation, and abuse while pursuing competitive figure skating. By 17, after reaching Nationals in Canada, the weight of shame forced him to walk away from the sport he loved.
But this episode is not about defeat.
It’s about reclamation.
Stef shares:
- How internalized shame shaped his identity and relationships
- The anxiety and breaking point that changed everything
- The therapist who helped save his life
- Why becoming a father transformed his healing journey
- The power of LGBTQ representation and community
- What it means to stop surviving and finally start living
This conversation is for:
- LGBTQ adults still healing from shame or rejection
- Parents wanting to better support queer kids
- Anyone navigating reinvention, self-worth, or a second chance at life
- People learning that healing, joy, and authenticity are still possible, no matter how long it takes
Stef’s story is a reminder that you are not broken, you are not alone, and it is never too late to reclaim yourself.
If this episode moved you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs hope today.
And for more conversations about belonging, healing, parenting, advocacy, boundaries, and becoming more human and more kind, join Heather on Substack and follow the podcast for new episodes every Tuesday and Friday.
Connect with Stef!
Podcast: Together Moving Forward
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/togethermovingforwardpodcast/
Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!
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Listen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!
At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.
For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.
Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.
More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers the wisdom of lived experience and practical guidance and education to parents and allies, teaching empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community, including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals, through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.
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