E283: When Simple Questions Feel Like A Personal Attack: The Gas Tank Fight

E283: When Simple Questions Feel Like A Personal Attack: The Gas Tank Fight

Author: Patricia Sung | ADHD Coach for Moms with ADHD August 13, 2026 Duration: 24:49

Why does one tiny question sometimes feel like a full-body emotional attack?

In this episode, I'm walking you through a very ordinary moment that turned into a huge realization for me: my husband asking why my gas tank was almost empty. Not a fight. Not a disaster. Just a question. But internally? My brain immediately launched into anxiety, defensiveness, shame, overexplaining, and mental gymnastics before he even finished speaking.

And honestly, I think so many of us with ADHD do this all day long without even realizing it.

I'm sharing what came up for me emotionally, how old childhood narratives around being "careless" still show up in everyday situations, and the exact neuroplasticity exercise I'm practicing to change those automatic responses. We talk about slowing down your stress response, recognizing the physical sensations tied to anxiety, and intentionally replacing old shame-based beliefs with sturdier, kinder truths.

Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) does not have to rule your emotions! With time, I've shifted my responses so that I'm able to separate from roller coaster feelings.

This episode is deeply personal, practical, and validating for anyone who feels exhausted from constantly preparing to defend themselves. You are not broken, Mama. Your brain learned patterns, and your brain can learn new ones, too.

Find links to everything mentioned in this episode & read the transcript here: https://www.patriciasung.com/podcast/episode-283-rsd-when-simple-questions-feel-like-personal-attack

Links mentioned in this episode:
Fill in a virtual coffee chat request to ask more about ADHD Coaching with Patricia.

You're not alone.

"This is a chance to invest in yourself and build a community that will empower your future. Worth it!" –ADHD Mama D.B.

Our 5th annual all-inclusive ADHD Moms Weekend Retreat is coming up October 16-18, 2026 just outside of Houston, Texas! And I hope you're coming!

I'll take care of all the details - you simply show up and enjoy.

Put it on your calendar now.

Having a circle of moms who support you and believe in you matters. Register for your all-inclusive ticket here: https://www.patriciasung.com/retreat


Ever feel like you're running a marathon with no finish line in sight, while everyone else seems to be on a leisurely stroll? That mental clutter, the constant search for your keys, the guilt over forgotten appointments-it's not a personal failing. It's often the lived experience of motherhood when you're also navigating adult ADHD. Motherhood in ADHD is a space created specifically for that reality. Hosted by Patricia Sung, an ADHD coach who gets it because she lives it, this podcast digs into the intersection of a neurodivergent brain and the demands of raising a family. You'll find conversations that move beyond simple tips, offering brain-based science and practical strategies tailored for moms whose minds work differently. Episodes explore how to structure your days in a way that works with your ADHD, not against it, and rethink parenting approaches to reduce overwhelm for both you and your kids. It’s about education that leads to self-compassion, replacing shame with understanding. Tune in for honest talk about productivity that actually sticks, managing mental health, and building systems that acknowledge your unique wiring. This is more than just a podcast; it’s a companion for redefining what success looks like in your home and in your mind, helping you move from barely coping to truly thriving.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

Motherhood in ADHD – Parenting with ADHD, Productivity Tips, Brain based Science, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Education to Help Moms with Adult ADHD
Podcast Episodes
E262: How to Ask for Help When You Have ADHD [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 16:04
How can you ask for help? When you have ADHD, you may not ask for help. Maybe you feel like you have to figure it out on your own. You may not want others to know you're struggling or working this hard to keep up. Or may…
E261: What If Everyone Hates Me? Book Update #3 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 51:11
What if everyone hates me? What if no one reads my book? No one told me that writing a book came with an existential crisis. Wrestling with how to write the book that moms need, while also showing up fully as myself, and…
E260: Are You Lazy and Procrastinating or Prioritizing for Later? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:39
HOT TAKE: I don't believe people with ADHD are lazy. There is a reason that they don't want to or can't do the thing, and when you untangle that obstacle, voila! It's easier to get things done. How do you know the differ…
E259: Juggling Big Goals and Parenting with ADHD: Book Update #2 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:37
Ditch the quest for Pinterest perfection and actually get stuff done. In this episode, I'm getting real about how my book proposal is going amidst juggling the whirlwind of parenting and work projects. The highs and lows…
E258: Reset After a Meltdown or Total Shutdown [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 18:30
When you're hiding in the bathroom in a puddle of tears on the floor, what do you do next? When you've yelled at your family and said things you regret during a grownup temper tantrum and wish you could hide under a rock…
E257: I Love You But I Don't Like You: Supporting ADHD Relationships [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 19:59
You chose this person for a reason. You love them. Aaaaand relationships are complicated. Sometimes you may not LIKE your partner as much as you love them. Adding ADHD in the mix is more than another layer of complexity…
E256: I'm Writing a Book for Moms with ADHD [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 26:42
I'm writing a book for moms with ADHD. Whoo-hoo! First up, I want your input! What do you wish you had known years ago about having ADHD? What do you wish more people were talking about? Tell me what you want to read abo…