You were chosen for the leadership role. Promoted. Trusted. Finally recognized for your competence. So why does it feel like you're being set up to fail?
Performative inclusion looks like fairness on the surface. It feels like progress, recognition, and opportunity. But if you're the only woman in the room, or one of very few, and you've noticed that your visibility comes with a target on your back, you're experiencing something much more calculated than you might realize.
In narcissistic families and relationships, elevating women to leadership positions isn't about honoring their abilities—it's a sophisticated control tactic. These roles come with all the responsibility and blame, but none of the actual power or support. You get the title while absorbing criticism meant for the entire group. You're set up to manage impossible situations and then criticized for predictable outcomes.
And here's the cruelest part: when you point out that the position is impossible, they remind you that they chose you. As if that choice was about your value instead of their need for a perfect scapegoat.
• Why being "chosen" for a leadership role might actually mean you've been positioned for maximum control and blame• The psychological manipulation hidden in praise: how narcissists weaponize your competence against you• The impossible math of performative inclusion: responsibility without power, visibility without actual authority• What real inclusion would actually look like—and how to recognize when you're being exploited instead
If you've ever succeeded in a leadership position only to realize you were set up to fail, or if your visibility in your family or relationship has made you a target rather than truly valued—this episode reveals the patterns you've been living with and what they really mean about where the actual problem lies.
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Episode 109: When the Whole World Acts Like Your Ex.
Episode 106: How Societal Gaslighting, Love Bombing, and Manipulation Became Cultural Norms
