How to Respond When Our Kids Are Defiant

How to Respond When Our Kids Are Defiant

Author: Michelle Kenney, M. Ed October 31, 2024 Duration: 13:44

Are you fighting an uphill battle with your child's “defiance”? What if defiance wasn’t something to squash but an invitation to connect? Today, I’m turning the traditional parenting playbook on its head and exploring how to respond compassionately to our kids when they push back.


Often, when our kids push back, we instinctively react with frustration, viewing their refusal as disrespectful or unkind. However, what if small changes in our approach could lead to significant improvements? Instead of using consequences or bribes, we could invite cooperation naturally through play or empathy.


In This Episode:

  • Why “defiance” isn’t what it seems
  • Transforming chores into bonding moments
  • How patience can encourage cooperation
  • Choosing empathy over punishment in conflict
  • Building connection through playful approaches


🔗 Join my Connected Parent Mastermind, designed for parents who want to strengthen their connection with their children, experience more love, and reduce frustration.


🔗 Interested in group or 1:1 Coaching? Book a Discovery Call today.


💌 Enjoy today’s episode? Please share it with a fellow parent or leave a rating and a review.


📖 Check out my book UNPUNISHED!


Follow Peace and Parenting:

YouTube: @peaceandparentingla

Instagram: @peaceandparenting

Facebook: @peaceandparentingla

Peace and Parenting Facebook Group



Interested in learning how to balance parenting and technology? Join my Plugged in Parenting seminar on April 29-30: https://peaceandparentingla.com/event-understanding-kids-technology

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You know the principles of gentle parenting and value attachment, but the day-to-day reality of raising kids can leave those ideals feeling just out of reach. If you’re exhausted by cycles of yelling, shame, and frustration, and you’re searching for a practical, grounded alternative that still provides clear boundaries, you’ve found a thoughtful space to explore. Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without Punishments is hosted by Michelle Kenney, M. Ed, who brings her perspective as a former teacher, counselor, certified parenting coach, and a mom of two teenagers. She also openly shares her own journey as a recovering yeller, making her guidance deeply empathetic and real. In this podcast, Michelle moves beyond theory to discuss the actual application of peaceful parenting. Conversations focus on dismantling the urge to punish and replacing it with connection-based strategies that actually work during tough moments. You’ll hear honest discussions about setting limits with respect, navigating emotional outbursts (both yours and your child’s), and fostering a home environment rooted in cooperation rather than control. Each episode aims to provide actionable insights that help you build a calmer, more respectful family dynamic, one conversation at a time. It’s a resource for anyone ready to parent in a way that feels better, honors the relationship, and genuinely moves away from punitive measures.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Peace and Parenting: How to Parent without Punishments
Podcast Episodes
Modeling Healthy Electronic Habits for Our Kids [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 8:21
I used to think that setting strict limits was the answer to my daughter's iPad obsession. But I learned a powerful lesson: I needed to change my own habits first. In this episode, I'm sharing my story and the importance…
Electronics and Kids – Finding the Balance Without the Drama [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 13:50
Are electronics truly the enemy of modern parenting, or can they coexist peacefully in our lives? With electronics being an undeniable part of our daily lives, today I explore how we can embrace them without sacrificing…
Case Study: Teaching Kids to Resolve Conflict Themselves [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 17:35
Are your toddlers constantly clashing over toys, snacks, or even just space? Are you tired of being the referee or the judge in your kid's battles? Today, I sit down with Miriam, a mom of twin boys on the cusp of turning…
Stop Doing This and Your Kids Will Actually Get Along [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:18
Are you tired of constant sibling squabbles turning your home into a battleground? Do you dream of a more peaceful, connected family life? I know how you feel because I've been there too! My own challenging relationship…
Case Study: Finding Alternatives to Yelling [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 21:11
Do you ever feel like your kids only listen when you raise your voice? You're not alone. Many parents struggle with feeling unheard and resorting to yelling, often rooted in feeling disrespected. Today, we're diving into…
Are You Over-Functioning and Holding Your Child Back? [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:56
Are parents doing too much for their kids? What if saying "no" to doing something for your child could actually empower them to thrive independently? Today, we dive into the art of stepping back as a parent and explore t…
Case Study: I Don’t Know What to Say During Sibling Arguments [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 16:22
What happens when you don’t know what to say as a parent? How can we handle sibling rivalry and help our children navigate their conflicts? In this episode of Peace and Parenting, I'm joined by Lindsey, a mom of two spir…
Co-Regulation Strategies for Emotional Outbursts [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 11:42
Are you tired of power struggles and tantrums turning your home into a battleground? Do you long for a more peaceful and connected relationship with your child? If you're like many parents, you've probably wondered how t…