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I was riding a ferry here in Washington state and had some time to kill. Decided to get in some reps approaching girls, playfully chatting and asking for phone numbers if things were vibing. I saw a girl sitting by herself, dressed quite &*^y, looking like she could be 25 or so. I sat down on the same bench as her with probably a 5-foot gap between us. She was on her laptop, so I opened with a question about the quality of the WiFi on the ferry. The way she responded gave me the impression she might be open to chatting.
We got to talking, and it turned out she is an undergrad within the same department at the university I just graduated from. I shared some things about my masters and my performing in the talent show at the university, intended to convey some status to her and maybe raise her interest in me. It seemed to work, and we kept talking.
The dialogue was two-sided, in other words we were both asking each other questions. At one point I left a long pause in the conversation, an opportunity when either of us could’ve ended the conversation if we’d wanted to...like, “well, I better get going” or whatever.
After about 5 minutes, the ferry was coming into dock. I suggested we exchange contact info and maybe meet up for a drink near the university sometime. She agreed, throwing in the line “you’re not an axe murderer are you?”, as she typed her first name and last name into my phone.
Later that day, I decided to see if I could learn anything useful about her from her social media before contacting her to ask her out, to inform my decision on whether it’d be worthwhile pursuing a date with her. Her name was very unique, so I figured if she used that name on social media she’d be easy to find. I was right.
I found her Twitter (discovered she tweets a ton) and came across a very recent tweet that said:
“This white mans on the ferry that swoooped in hella intense to ask for my number while I was doing homework and kept trying to talk to me was the true embodiment of entitlement”.
Whoa. Huh? This was unsettling to read. Had I been missing signs that she was seriously bothered by my presence with her? I don’t think so. Why did she give me her real phone number and her full name if she viewed me as a hella intense white man who embodies entitlement?
I can handle the bizarre reaction on her part and laugh it off and be fine never contacting her. It’s confusing and concerning, though, to experience something like that. Imagine if I had not seen her tweet, and I assumed she was normal and of sound mind, and I pursued a date with her. That girl could’ve ended up being serious trouble for me. I pity that guy who didn’t get that preview of her disturbedness in time to avoid wasting any energy on her.
To top it off, several days later, she texts me out of the blue, with a question about whether I’d taken a class with a certain professor at the university. I think it’s safe to conclude that her text to me meant she was interested in seeing me for a date — or, perhaps more likely, she had no interest in a date with me but was looking to instigate an exchange in which I would ask her out. Now of course, knowing what I know about sick-in-the-head people - which I have learned the hard way - my course of action was a no-brainer. Despite her being a young, decently ^&$y girl, I would not be responding to her text.
