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Sorry everyone, I looked and looked for the RSD video but I could not find it. If anyone knows the clip I'm talking about and can provide a link in the comments section, it would be greatly appreciated!
Every year in December a group of my friends book a cottage out in the country for a week or so to spend some time together taking part in some very wholesome activities - walks, cooking, and lots of reading.
I've been every time since it started about three or four years ago.
Last year, there was a girl there that I hadn't met before. She was
really sweet (not to mention cute) and I grew to like her. One night
the two of us stayed up late drinking Baileys and chatting after
everyone else had gone to bed. She invited me to a party she was
having a couple weeks later. We kept chatting. We slipped out to look at the stars. The mood seemed right. I put my hand on her back.
Well, I knew straight away that the mood was not right. (When you make a mistake like that, you know straight away.) She froze up and then said "well, I'm going to bed now." OK, I think, I guess I misread that. Ho hum. She leaves the next morning (she was leaving anyway) and uninvites me from her party by text with a completely phony-sounding excuse. I would slightly prefer her to give me the real reason, but OK, whatever. I assume that's the end of it.
This year, I don't receive an invite to the gathering. Unsure whether
I've deliberately not been invited or it was an accident (this happens a lot when you're not on Facebook), I reach out to ask the guy who organises it.
This is the reply I get: "Hey. The reason I haven't sent over an
invitation is because last time you made an advance on [the girl] and touched her in a way that she wasnt comfortable with. I really want to make an environment at [the event] where that isn't present. I'm sure you didn't mean it to be like that but I hope you understand."
Now, this strikes me as kinda bulls%^t. But if I'm not wanted there
then I'm not about to beg to be allowed to come - begging is not a
good look. (I would like to discuss it, but more as a point of
principle.) So I just thanked him for giving me the real reason, said
that I'd be interested to discuss it when I see him, and wished him
the best.
But I admit that I'm somewhat hurt by this. To be excluded from one of the highlight social events of my year because of one bit of
miscalibration stings.
I'd like to know whether this came from her. What level of discomfort she expressed that I had caused her. Whether she knows that this is the result, and whether she's happy about it. Whether he excluded me to protect this particular woman, or whether he is looking out for women as a whole.
TL;DR I touched a woman on the back when she and I stayed up late drinking once and got excluded from a major social event because of it.
