EP466 – Polysecure: Attachment Theory in Non-Monogamy

EP466 – Polysecure: Attachment Theory in Non-Monogamy

Author: Dr. Nazanin Moali, Ph.D, Psychology of Sex | Couple Therapy | Sex Education November 25, 2025 Duration: 32:33

Welcome to Episode 466 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Jessica Fern who speaks to me about consensual non-monogamy, secure attachment, and the inner work required to build healthy open relationships.


In this conversation, Jessica shares her personal journey into non-monogamy and the ways her clinical work pushed her to explore the topic more deeply. We talk about emotional exclusivity, the origins of Polysecure, and how people can distinguish between personal triggers, relational dynamics, and the messages they have absorbed from society. Jessica offers thoughtful insights on insecurity, jealousy, and the importance of intentional repair when conflict arises.

 

Jessica Fern holds a Master’s degree in Conflict Resolution, is a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, a trained Internal Family Systems (IFS) practitioner, and an integrative therapist drawing on 25 years of experience in somatic, narrative, psychotherapeutic, and spiritual healing modalities. She is the internationally recognized author of Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Nonmonogamy, The Polysecure Workbook, and Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships. 


In this episode, you will hear:

 

• Jessica’s Early Exploration Of Non Monogamy

• Unconscious Beginnings And Identity Formation

• How Clinical Work Sparked Conscious Alignment

• Emotional Exclusivity And Realistic Expectations

• Origins And Meaning Of The Term Polysecure

• Hearts Model For Secure Attachment

• Differentiating Me We Or Society

• Conflict Repair And Nervous System Regulation

• Assessing Readiness For Opening Relationships

• Misconceptions Around Jealousy And Compersion


Thank you to our sponsor Hily! Hily is a dating app that connects singles with new people while supporting them in remaining authentic. Short for “Hey, I Like You,” it encourages users to be themselves, focusing on real connections over competition. With features like Icks&Clicks compatibility check and Consent Guard, Hily supports more genuine and safer interactions. Launched in 2017, it ranks among the top 10 US dating apps, with over 40 million users globally.


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Podcast Produced by Vaudeo Productions



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Curiosity about human sexuality is universal, yet finding grounded, evidence-based conversations can be surprisingly difficult. That’s where Sexology comes in. Hosted by clinical psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Nazanin Moali, this weekly series moves beyond sensationalism and stigma to bring you thoughtful dialogues with leading experts, researchers, and therapists. Each episode delves into the nuanced psychology of sex, intimacy, and relationships, translating complex findings into relatable insights. You’ll hear conversations that address the questions many ponder but hesitate to voice, covering everything from desire and communication to the science of pleasure and emotional connection. Dr. Moali’s background in both couple therapy and sex education ensures these discussions are both academically rigorous and deeply practical. Rather than offering quick fixes, this podcast provides a compassionate space to understand the multifaceted nature of our sexual selves. Tuning in feels like gaining access to a candid, confidential forum where nothing is off-limits and everything is examined with respect and intellectual curiosity. For anyone seeking to deepen their understanding of personal or relational dynamics, Sexology offers a trusted, enlightening resource that demystifies the complexities of human sexuality through a scientific and therapeutic lens.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

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