EP479 - Contempt and Distance: The Silent Bedroom Killer

EP479 - Contempt and Distance: The Silent Bedroom Killer

Author: Dr. Nazanin Moali, Ph.D, Psychology of Sex | Couple Therapy | Sex Education February 24, 2026 Duration: 31:41

Welcome to Episode 479 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am excited to be joined by Zach Brittle who speaks to me about negative sentiment override and how relationship dynamics shape our erotic connection.

 

In this episode, Zach and I discuss how the emotional tone of a relationship deeply influences intimacy inside and outside the bedroom. We look at the concept of Negative Sentiment Override, a term from John Gottman’s research, and discuss how couples can find themselves stuck in patterns where even neutral moments feel charged with criticism or defensiveness. 


Zach has been teaching, coaching, mentoring and counseling couples for nearly 20 years. He is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) in Washington and a Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT) and Relational Life Therapist. He is the host of Marriage Therapy Radio and the author of the best selling relationship guide The Relationship Alphabet and the Marriage Therapy Journal. His writings and insights have also been featured in Vanity Fair, Men’s Health, Real Simple, The New York Times and the Washington Post. Zach has been happily married to his wife Rebecca for 25 of 28 years. They live in Seattle with their two adulting daughters.

 

In this episode, you will hear:

 

·      Understanding Negative Sentiment Override

·      Positive Versus Negative Emotional Filters

·      The Pasta Example And Neutral Events

·      Emotional Safety And Sexual Vulnerability

·      Gender Socialization And Desire Patterns

·      Slowing Down Between Impulse And Response

·      Taking Responsibility In Relationship Conflict

·      Contempt And The Illusion Of Superiority

·      Redefining What Sex Is For

·      Scheduling Erotic Play And Expanding Intimacy

 

Work With Dr. Nazanin Moali

 

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Curiosity about human sexuality is universal, yet finding grounded, evidence-based conversations can be surprisingly difficult. That’s where Sexology comes in. Hosted by clinical psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Nazanin Moali, this weekly series moves beyond sensationalism and stigma to bring you thoughtful dialogues with leading experts, researchers, and therapists. Each episode delves into the nuanced psychology of sex, intimacy, and relationships, translating complex findings into relatable insights. You’ll hear conversations that address the questions many ponder but hesitate to voice, covering everything from desire and communication to the science of pleasure and emotional connection. Dr. Moali’s background in both couple therapy and sex education ensures these discussions are both academically rigorous and deeply practical. Rather than offering quick fixes, this podcast provides a compassionate space to understand the multifaceted nature of our sexual selves. Tuning in feels like gaining access to a candid, confidential forum where nothing is off-limits and everything is examined with respect and intellectual curiosity. For anyone seeking to deepen their understanding of personal or relational dynamics, Sexology offers a trusted, enlightening resource that demystifies the complexities of human sexuality through a scientific and therapeutic lens.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

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