It is painfully obvious that every person has something in their life that is causing grief in this COVID journey. Stop for a moment to think of all the ways that people have lost something in the past year.
Graduations
Birth shared with family & friends
Death
Vacations that never took place
Daily workflow
Loss of Community
Virtual only meetings
Isolation
Grief is a natural occurrence when we lose something of significance to us. Something that is taken away from us without fully understanding in the moment.
Here are a few general insights about grief….
•There is no success without growth. There is no growth without change. There is no change with loss. There is no loss without pain.
•There is no expiration date on grief – Grief takes time.
•Loss of a child or spouse is at the top of the Holman’s Stress Scale
•Grief is not something that you get over – rather you get through it and the only way to do that is to FEEL YOUR GRIEF!
•Do not stuff your emotions! In healthy ways express your pain!
•Journal your thoughts so that you can remember key ideas and expressions for future reference.
•Realize the concept of recognizing deep pain – say fewer words. Basically show up and shut up!
•Do not second guess yourself – “If I had only……”
Depending on who you read, there are various descriptions of the phases of grief. Understand that phases are not meant to be in consecutive order. It is however to be understood that grief is an emotional journey that at times is radical and the frequency is intense. Other times the experience is more flat-line and not as intense. Here is a suggested framework for understanding loss.
Shock – we are always shocked by loss even if we know that it is going to occur. We cannot stop the shock of the moment. Loss is abrupt and sudden. It has a finality quality to it.
Sorrow – Once the shock begins to subside there is a strong sense of sorrow and sadness that settles on us. There is no stopping this fact.
Struggle – In this facet of grief we ask the “WHY” questions. Your emotions change dramatically and suddenly and often during this facet. It is physically and certainly emotionally draining.
Surrender – This is an opportunity to realize there is a creator God that is far bigger than our comprehension and understanding. This is a moment of surrender to a higher being and power than we can grasp.
Sanctification – This is all about personal change. Sudden and dramatic lose will cause you to reflect upon the pathway of your own life. What do I need to change in my behavior and habit?
Service – Unless we harness this raw emotion into positive service to others then we are prone to staying stuck in our sense of lose. The living must continue to live with purpose.
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Music: “Gratitude Mood” by David Arivett. You can learn more about his music by clicking on his name. THANKS DAVID!
