Always Say “Yes, AND…”

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• This chapter is about how to steer conversations to different topics without making things seem restrictive. One critical aspect of talking to people is ability to transition between topics seamlessly. Many people struggle with this because they often want to discuss specific things and end up making the conversation rigid.

• The key rule to be remembered here is the “yes, and” rule. Whenever someone states a proposition, your response should be to agree to it, and contribute a line that will keep the conversation going. Simply agreeing isn’t enough, since it brings the conversation to a dead end. Disagreeing is even worse, because it might make you come across as combative and unsympathetic.

• Don’t be afraid to enter into conversational topics that you don’t know much about. You might just end up learning something new, and you’ll see that your fears about coming across as dumb are unfounded. If you keep conversations open-ended, people will naturally want to talk to you because they will feel like they can share anything with you.

• A more negative version of the “yes, and” rule is the “yes, but” rule. It’s similar, but the latter immediately makes the other person think of you as argumentative. This is because, unlike the “yes, and” rule, it doesn’t help the conversation flow.

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