Episode 497: Patronizing perf reviews and can't get anything done as a tech lead

Episode 497: Patronizing perf reviews and can't get anything done as a tech lead

Author: Jamison Dance and Dave Smith January 26, 2026 Duration: 27:52

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:

  1. I’m a relatively new people manager and I really struggle when it comes time for performance reviews, or even regular praise or critical feedback in one-on-ones, because I can’t help feeling like an adult “talking down” to another adult, regardless of whether the feedback is generally positive or critical and instructive. Something about it all seems so patronizing to me. How can I approach this stuff with a different mindset?

  2. Hello D & J! Quick one from your biggest fan!! This week (Tuesday 6th Jan 2k26) I was promoted to Tech Lead of our team. In my new role, I have done no work *cries*, I’ve spent all my time assisting team members, unblocking QA, dealing with ad hoc requests from product/stakeholders…. I asked the previous tech lead is this what they did? They did! And they said spent their personal time to complete stories assigned to them.

    Is this really what a tech lead does?!?!! Helpppp


The weekly advice Soft Skills Engineering podcast, hosted by Jamison Dance and Dave Smith, operates on a simple but profound premise: writing excellent code is only one part of a successful career. The real challenges-and opportunities-often lie in everything else. This is a show dedicated entirely to the human side of software development. Each episode tackles the messy, complicated, and frequently unspoken questions that developers face daily. You’ll hear thoughtful discussions and practical advice on navigating office politics, having difficult conversations with managers, negotiating salaries, managing time and energy, collaborating effectively on a team, and building a sustainable, long-term career without burning out. It’s the crucial curriculum that most computer science degrees never cover. Jamison and Dave bring a blend of experience, empathy, and humor to these topics, offering perspectives that are both actionable and relatable. For anyone who has ever wondered how to handle a toxic coworker, get promoted, or simply find more fulfillment in their work, this podcast provides a much-needed forum. It’s a consistent source of guidance for the parts of the job that don’t involve a compiler, reminding listeners that their growth as a professional is inextricably linked to their growth as a communicator, a colleague, and a person. Tune in for honest conversations that go beyond the technical screen.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 50

Soft Skills Engineering
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