"Tender is the night lying by your side / Tender is the touch of someone that you love too much..." - Chris Lightfoot will always associate Blur's song 'Tender' with his first big love. A relationship he moved across the world for, with someone he loved deeply and who changed the course of his life. A relationship he ultimately couldn't make work. The song came on, and they held each other - knowing they had to let each other go.
"Tender is the day the demons go away / Lord, I need to find someone who can heal my mind..." - Music writer Jason Draper explains how the song was born out of a period of huge change and turmoil for Blur. Lead singer Damon Albarn's relationship with Justine Frischmann of Elastica had come to "a spectacularly sad end"; while guitarist Graham Coxon was tackling his own demons and taking steps towards sobriety. Living alone in a one-bedroom flat in West London and listening to a lot of Otis Redding, Damon had begun writing lyrics for a new song. Not a bitter break-up song, but one "that paid tribute to how important something was in my life... a celebration of love found and lost but not forgotten". Across town, Graham woke up one morning - still half dreaming - with a refrain circling in his head - "oh my baby, oh why, oh my" and captured a fragile guitar line on his dictaphone. These elements came together in studio, with the help of Producer William Orbit and 40 singers from the London Community Gospel Choir, to create a cathartic anthem that feels like a secular hymn.
"Come on, come on, come on / Get through it..." - Catherine Anne Davies, who makes music as The Anchoress, has loved Blur since she was a teenager. Tender has been there for her through break ups and times of difficulty. She talks about her experience of covering the song and explains how the structure creates its emotional impact.
"Oh my baby, Oh my baby..." - For Sarah, the song will always be associated with the arrival of her first child, after it came on in the taxi on the way to hospital on the way to give birth. The song carried her through the overwhelming contractions and has gone on to become a cherished family lullaby. "'Tender is the night, lying by your side....' That's it isn't it? The love that you feel for the people closest to you, is almost too much... because of the risk involved, but it's a risk we're willing to take".
"Come on, come on, come on / Love's the greatest thing, that we have..." - For Naomi Chiffi, the song provided a powerful outlet for grief and an opportunity for communion, after losing both her father and cousin to suicide. For her, it's a reminder to give out love every chance we get - "love is the only thing that really matters".
Produced by Mair Bosworth for BBC Audio
