Is Painful Sex Normal? The Bedroom Gap Explained by Dr. Maria Sophocles | Ep. 101

Is Painful Sex Normal? The Bedroom Gap Explained by Dr. Maria Sophocles | Ep. 101

Author: Karen Bigman July 8, 2025 Duration: 33:37

In this episode I’m joined by Dr. Maria Sophocles to break the silence around painful sex, vaginal atrophy, menopause, and the damaging scripts of ‘duty sex’. Dr. Sophocles shares:

  • Why so many women endure painful sex silently
  • The difference between vaginal atrophy, vulvodynia, and other causes of pain
  • How treatments like vaginal estrogen, lubricants, and dilators can help
  • Why sexual pain should never define your worth as a partner
  • The importance of communication with doctors and partners
  • Her upcoming documentary HOT! exploring midlife women’s sexuality
  • Her personal definition of sex: joy, curiosity, and humor

This episode is a must-listen for any woman wanting to understand her body, break free from shame, and embrace a sex life defined by her own needs and desires.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Intro & Guest Welcome

02:10 – The Reality of Painful Sex Globally

05:50 – Dr. Maria Sophocles’ Work & TED Talk Impact

09:20 – Mercy Sex, Duty Sex, and The Bedroom Gap

14:00 – Why Women Feel Obliged to Endure Pain

17:50 – Common Causes of Painful Sex in Midlife

21:40 – Treatments: Vaginal Estrogen, Lubricants, Dilators

26:10 – How To Talk To Your Doctor About Sex

31:30 – Communicating With Your Partner About Pain & Pleasure

38:00 – The Importance of Sexual Check-Ins

43:20 – Dr. Sophocles’ Upcoming Documentary HOT!

47:10 – Her Personal Definition of Sex

49:00 – Closing Thoughts & Next Steps

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.


This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.


Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast



About the Guest:

Dr. Maria Sophocles has been a leader in women's healthcare for nearly 30 years, specializing in menopause management and female sexual health. She founded Women’s Healthcare of Princeton, a progressive gynecology practice, and has been a visiting professor and NIH researcher in Switzerland. A board-certified ob/gyn and Menopause Society Certified Practitioner, she has pioneered innovative treatments, including CO2 laser therapy for vaginal atrophy. She serves as CMO of EMBR Labs, Director of Women’s Health Services for Curia Health, and is an advocate for women’s health policy. Dr. Sophocles is also an author, TEDWomen2023 speaker, and frequent media contributor on women's health topics.

Connect with Dr. Maria Sophocles:

Website: https://mariasophoclesmd.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mariasophoclesmd


Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

P3rMbJYVyM5CIZNacDVN


In a culture that often whispers about aging and ignores the sexuality of older adults, Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50 speaks in a clear, confident voice. Hosted by certified sex educator and coach Karen Bigman, this podcast transforms hushed conversations into open, honest dialogue. Karen’s straightforward and candid approach dismantles the stigma surrounding midlife intimacy, creating a vital space for education and support. Each episode explores the intricate, real-life experiences of dating, relationships, and physical connection after fifty. You’ll hear practical insights on navigating sex post-divorce, the triumphs of rediscovering desire, and the unique challenges that come with these transformative years. This isn’t abstract theory; it’s grounded conversation about the evolving landscape of pleasure, health, and partnership. By diving deep into topics often left unspoken, the show provides both reassurance and actionable guidance. Whether you’re seeking to understand your own journey or to simply listen and learn, this podcast meets you with expertise and empathy. Karen Bigman ensures every discussion moves from societal silence toward personal truth, making Taboo to Truth an essential listen for anyone redefining what life and intimacy mean in the second half.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50
Podcast Episodes
When Menopause Meets Andropause with Dr. Maria Sophocles | Ep. 146 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:56
Pre-order 'The Bedroom Gap' here: https://mariasophoclesmd.com/bookIf you think menopause is tough. Wait until it collides with andropause. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Maria Sophocles to talk about what she call…
What Kind Of Woman Likes Cuckolding? | Ep. 145 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 5:37
Today I’m talking about a topic people whisper about or judge from the outside. Cuckolding. And no, it’s not what you’ve been told. In this episode, I break down what cuckolding actually is, how it differs from hotwife a…
Why Most Men Are Bad in Bed | Ep. 144 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 36:32
You think you know how to please a woman. Most men miss the basics.I sit down with Certified Intimacy Coach, Surrogate Partner & Somatic Intimacy Guide and & Virgin Island TV Expert Andre Lazarus to talk about what men m…
Dating and Sex With Herpes. The Truth No One Told You | Ep. 143 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:56
🩸Head to ProDx and use CODE: TABOO12 for 12% off! https://prodxhealth.com/products/full-10-home-collection-kit?variant=42594726838374&uid=9&oid=1&affid=44A herpes diagnosis does not end your sex life. I break down what h…
Everything You Were Taught About the Clitoris Is Wrong | Ep. 142 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 40:22
💗 For her pleasure, head to https://www.goodvibes.com/sex-toys/c/gv004/vibrators💓 Use code: TABOO10 for 10% off at https://www.babeland.com/sex-toys/c/3000/vibratorsIn this episode, I sit down with Ana Ornelas to dismant…
How Women Over 50 Flirt Without Saying a Word | Ep. 141 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:21
Flirting after 50 is not subtle. It is intentional. It is confident. It is clear.In this episode, I break down how women over 50 signal interest without spelling it out. Flirting after 50 looks different. It is clearer.…
The 10 Conversations That CHANGED Us In 2025 - Best of 2025 | Ep. 140 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 14:02
💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser is now 75% OFF! Use code HOLIDAY2025 at checkout! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiserThis episode is the best of 2025 and pulls together the moments that defined Taboo To Truth this p…
Why You Keep Falling for Emotionally Unavailable Partners | Ep. 139 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 14:40
💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser is now 75% OFF! Use code HOLIDAY2025 at checkout! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiserDo you fall fast and then feel abandoned when they pull away? You are not broken. In this episode…
Why Sex Starts Feeling Like Work for Women | Ep. 138 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 43:21
💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser is now 75% OFF! Use code HOLIDAY2025 at checkout! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiserSex feels like work for many women. Desire fades. Resentment builds. In this episode, Annette Bene…
Why I Deleted the Dating Apps | Ep. 137 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:38
💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser is now 75% OFF! Use code HOLIDAY2025 at checkout! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiserDating apps promise connection, but for many midlife daters they deliver frustration, confusion, a…