Why Most Men Are Bad in Bed | Ep. 144

Why Most Men Are Bad in Bed | Ep. 144

Author: Karen Bigman January 13, 2026 Duration: 36:32

You think you know how to please a woman. Most men miss the basics.

I sit down with Certified Intimacy Coach, Surrogate Partner & Somatic Intimacy Guide and & Virgin Island TV Expert Andre Lazarus to talk about what men misunderstand about sex, connection, and their own bodies. We cover emotional vulnerability, masculine and feminine energy, erectile dysfunction, rapid ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, and why performance pressure kills pleasure. Andre shares what actually helps men reconnect with sensation, desire, and confidence in bed. This conversation goes deeper than technique. It starts with presence.

In this episode:

00:00 Why most men miss the basics of intimacy

01:10 Welcome to Taboo To Truth

02:05 Introducing Andre Lazarus

03:40 From U.S. Marine to intimacy work

05:15 The biggest misconception men have about intimacy

07:40 Why vulnerability feels dangerous for men

10:10 Midlife dating and emotionally unavailable men

12:45 Masculinity, culture, and emotional shutdown

15:20 The little boy behind the tough exterior

17:40 Masculine and feminine energy in relationships

20:30 Who seeks this work and why

22:45 What surrogate partner therapy really involves

25:10 Attachment, endings, and rejection

27:30 Sexual challenges men bring into sessions

29:40 Practical tools to reconnect with the body

31:45 Rapid fire questions and closing thoughts

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.


This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.


Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast



Connect with Andre Lazarus:

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/comingcloserwithandre

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre

Andre Lazarus is a somatic intimacy guide and trusted voice on relationships, sexuality, and embodied connection. A former U.S. Marine, he brings a grounded perspective to vulnerability and desire. He is known for his work as a professional surrogate partner on the UK series Virgin Island, where he helped participants navigate intimacy with safety and presence. Through his practice, Coming Closer, Andre works with individuals and couples to move beyond performance and reconnect with their bodies, emotions, and each other.

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.


In a culture that often whispers about aging and ignores the sexuality of older adults, Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50 speaks in a clear, confident voice. Hosted by certified sex educator and coach Karen Bigman, this podcast transforms hushed conversations into open, honest dialogue. Karen’s straightforward and candid approach dismantles the stigma surrounding midlife intimacy, creating a vital space for education and support. Each episode explores the intricate, real-life experiences of dating, relationships, and physical connection after fifty. You’ll hear practical insights on navigating sex post-divorce, the triumphs of rediscovering desire, and the unique challenges that come with these transformative years. This isn’t abstract theory; it’s grounded conversation about the evolving landscape of pleasure, health, and partnership. By diving deep into topics often left unspoken, the show provides both reassurance and actionable guidance. Whether you’re seeking to understand your own journey or to simply listen and learn, this podcast meets you with expertise and empathy. Karen Bigman ensures every discussion moves from societal silence toward personal truth, making Taboo to Truth an essential listen for anyone redefining what life and intimacy mean in the second half.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50
Podcast Episodes
How Women Over 50 Flirt Without Saying a Word | Ep. 141 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:21
Flirting after 50 is not subtle. It is intentional. It is confident. It is clear.In this episode, I break down how women over 50 signal interest without spelling it out. Flirting after 50 looks different. It is clearer.…
The 10 Conversations That CHANGED Us In 2025 - Best of 2025 | Ep. 140 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 14:02
💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser is now 75% OFF! Use code HOLIDAY2025 at checkout! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiserThis episode is the best of 2025 and pulls together the moments that defined Taboo To Truth this p…
Why You Keep Falling for Emotionally Unavailable Partners | Ep. 139 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 14:40
💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser is now 75% OFF! Use code HOLIDAY2025 at checkout! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiserDo you fall fast and then feel abandoned when they pull away? You are not broken. In this episode…
Why Sex Starts Feeling Like Work for Women | Ep. 138 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 43:21
💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser is now 75% OFF! Use code HOLIDAY2025 at checkout! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiserSex feels like work for many women. Desire fades. Resentment builds. In this episode, Annette Bene…
Why I Deleted the Dating Apps | Ep. 137 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 10:38
💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser is now 75% OFF! Use code HOLIDAY2025 at checkout! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiserDating apps promise connection, but for many midlife daters they deliver frustration, confusion, a…
Dating, Sex, and Kink After 50 with Suzanne Noble | Ep. 136 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 25:47
💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser is now 75% OFF! Use code HOLIDAY2025 at checkout! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiserSuzanne Noble joins me for a raw, funny, direct conversation about dating, sex, kink and honesty a…
Curious About Threesomes? 5 Positions That Actually Work | Ep. 135 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:02
Many people fantasize about exploring intimacy with three people, but very few know how to talk about it or where to begin. In this episode, I walk through communication steps, boundary-setting, and five setups that help…
Surrogate Partner Therapy: Sex, Healing, And Boundaries | Ep. 134 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 34:19
In this episode of Taboo To Truth, I sit down with surrogate partner and intimacy coach Brian Gibney to talk about what happens when touch, sex, and therapy meet. We walk through the origins of surrogate partner therapy,…
The New Rules of Posting Your Relationship | Ep. 133 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 7:49
In this episode, I react to a provocative cultural shift highlighted in Vogue’s viral piece “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?”. Straight women are hiding their partners online. Faces are blurred. Fiancés are cropp…