Why Sex Starts Feeling Like Work for Women | Ep. 138

Why Sex Starts Feeling Like Work for Women | Ep. 138

Author: Karen Bigman December 23, 2025 Duration: 43:21

đź’‹ Hotter, Wilder, Wiser is now 75% OFF! Use code HOLIDAY2025 at checkout! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

Sex feels like work for many women. Desire fades. Resentment builds. In this episode, Annette Benedetti explains why this happens and how intimacy breaks down over time. She unpacks the orgasm gap, the damage of performance driven sex, and why penetration centered intimacy leaves women disconnected. You hear why foreplay throughout the day matters, why aftercare changes desire, and how owning your own pleasure transforms relationships. This episode gives men clarity and gives women permission to stop performing and start feeling.

In this episode:

00:00 Why sex starts to feel like work

03:40 The orgasm gap and why it matters

07:50 How sex becomes performative for women

12:30 Why desire fades in long term relationships

16:45 Foreplay happens all day

21:30 Why penetration centered sex fails women

26:10 Aftercare and emotional safety

30:40 What men want and why they feel unwanted

35:20 How to talk about sex without blame

39:10 Owning your own pleasure and reconnecting

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.


This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.


Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast



About the Guest:

Annette Benedetti is an intimacy coach and host of Talk Sex with Annette, the go-to podcast for bold, unfiltered conversations at the intersection of sexuality, identity, and empowerment.

From k*nk to connection, self-love to sexual healing, Annette dives into the topics most people are too afraid to touch—with expertise, raw storytelling, and a feminist lens that challenges shame and reclaims pleasure.

Connect with ___:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/annettebenedetti/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@talksexwithannette

Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@talksexwithannette

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

⏩ FREE: 10 TIPS EVERY MAN NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THE FEMALE O

https://www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook

🚨 Head to https://www.ooyes.love and use code TABOO20 for 20% off at checkout!

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.


In a culture that often whispers about aging and ignores the sexuality of older adults, Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50 speaks in a clear, confident voice. Hosted by certified sex educator and coach Karen Bigman, this podcast transforms hushed conversations into open, honest dialogue. Karen’s straightforward and candid approach dismantles the stigma surrounding midlife intimacy, creating a vital space for education and support. Each episode explores the intricate, real-life experiences of dating, relationships, and physical connection after fifty. You’ll hear practical insights on navigating sex post-divorce, the triumphs of rediscovering desire, and the unique challenges that come with these transformative years. This isn’t abstract theory; it’s grounded conversation about the evolving landscape of pleasure, health, and partnership. By diving deep into topics often left unspoken, the show provides both reassurance and actionable guidance. Whether you’re seeking to understand your own journey or to simply listen and learn, this podcast meets you with expertise and empathy. Karen Bigman ensures every discussion moves from societal silence toward personal truth, making Taboo to Truth an essential listen for anyone redefining what life and intimacy mean in the second half.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50
Podcast Episodes
5 Secrets to Mind-Blowing Sex (That Actually Work) | Ep. 126 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 5:02
Good sex doesn’t happen by accident—it takes curiosity, communication, and intention. In this episode of Taboo to Truth, I’m breaking down five simple but powerful ways to go from “meh” to mind-blowing in the bedroom. Fr…
Men, Sex & Aging: How to Ditch Performance and Find Real Intimacy | Ep. 125 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 32:59
Men, sex, and aging without the macho script. I sit down with Dr. Chris Donaghue—clinical sexologist, therapist, and host of Loveline—to unpack masculinity, libido, and connection in midlife. We dig into why “being a man…
He’s So Into You—Or Is It Love Bombing? | Ep. 123 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:33
Is it real love or manipulation in disguise? In this episode of Taboo to Truth, I unpack the difference between genuine affection and love bombing, how to spot the red flags early, what behaviors cross the line from cari…
Open Relationships: Can They Save or Ruin Your Marriage? | Ep. 122 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 15:17
Open relationships sound exciting to some — and absolutely terrifying to others. But what really happens when you open up your marriage? Can it save your relationship… or destroy it?In this episode, I sit down with Kelvi…
Top 3 Female Fantasies—And What They Really Mean | Ep. 120 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 4:53
In this episode I’m pulling back the covers—literally—on the top three sexual fantasies most women have but rarely confess. From the thrill of novelty and adventure, to the ego-boosting allure of multi-partner desire, an…