Why You Can Get Hard to Porn But Not Your Partner — And How to Fix It | Ep. 164

Why You Can Get Hard to Porn But Not Your Partner — And How to Fix It | Ep. 164

Author: Karen Bigman April 3, 2026 Duration: 6:15

In this episode, I'm addressing one of the most common — and least talked-about — causes of erectile dysfunction in midlife men: porn-related ED. If you or someone you love has noticed that things work just fine alone but shut down with a real partner, this isn't about age, hormones, or anything being wrong with you. It's about your brain — and how repeated exposure to high-stimulation content has recalibrated your arousal system. I break down exactly what's happening neurologically, why midlife men are particularly vulnerable, and walk through three clear steps to stop the cycle, rewire your brain, and rebuild real-world intimacy. This is not about shame. It's about understanding a pattern — and changing it.

IN THIS EPISODE:

00:00 Introduction — The Problem No One Talks About

00:25 Podcast Intro

00:58 What Porn-Related ED Actually Is

01:38 What's Happening in Your Brain

02:35 Why Midlife Men Are Especially Vulnerable

03:10 Step 1: Stop Desensitizing Your Brain

04:00 Step 2: Rewire Your Brain

04:48 Step 3: Resensitize Your Brain to Real Pleasure

05:42 You're Not Broken — Patterns Can Change

Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out

Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.


This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.


Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast



Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.

This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.

Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:

Email: karen@taboototruth.com

Website: https://www.taboototruth.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruth

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcast

Substack: https://karenbigman.substack.com

Take control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.

LINKS, EXCLUSIVE VIP DISCOUNTS, COURSES & FREEBIES

🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenopause

🥰 If you want her to want you more — start by understanding her body better. Free resources → https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources

💋 Hotter, Wilder, Wiser | You’ve mastered everything else in life — now master pleasure! https://www.taboototruth.com/hotter-wilder-wiser

🔥 Ready to spice things up? This Yes/No/Maybe list is your permission slip for pleasure. https://www.taboototruth.com/free-resources-1/yes%2Fno%2Fmaybe%3F


In a culture that often whispers about aging and ignores the sexuality of older adults, Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50 speaks in a clear, confident voice. Hosted by certified sex educator and coach Karen Bigman, this podcast transforms hushed conversations into open, honest dialogue. Karen’s straightforward and candid approach dismantles the stigma surrounding midlife intimacy, creating a vital space for education and support. Each episode explores the intricate, real-life experiences of dating, relationships, and physical connection after fifty. You’ll hear practical insights on navigating sex post-divorce, the triumphs of rediscovering desire, and the unique challenges that come with these transformative years. This isn’t abstract theory; it’s grounded conversation about the evolving landscape of pleasure, health, and partnership. By diving deep into topics often left unspoken, the show provides both reassurance and actionable guidance. Whether you’re seeking to understand your own journey or to simply listen and learn, this podcast meets you with expertise and empathy. Karen Bigman ensures every discussion moves from societal silence toward personal truth, making Taboo to Truth an essential listen for anyone redefining what life and intimacy mean in the second half.
Author: Language: English Episodes: 100

Taboo to Truth: Life & Sex After 50
Podcast Episodes
The One Conversation That Will Change Your Sex Life | Ep. 161 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:13
If you want a better sex life, you need to learn how to talk about sex. In this episode, I break down why most couples avoid these conversations and how that silence creates distance, resentment, and confusion. I walk yo…
8 Things I Wish Every Man Knew About Menopause | Ep. 159 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:44
🚨 If you are a man navigating your partner’s menopause and feel lost, check out my NEW course ‘Men Meet Menopause’! AND to celebrate the launch, iI am giving you 20% off with code MMPLAUNCH20 https://bit.ly/MeenMeetMenop…
Why Couples Get Bored In Bed And How To Fix It | Ep. 157 (Part 2) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 16:39
What do you do when the relationship is good, but the sex is boring?In part two of my conversation with clinical sexologist Dr. Stacey Friedman, we talk about what really happens to sexual relationships over time. We mov…
My Experience Taking Testosterone As A Woman | Ep. 158 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 13:16
In this episode, I share a personal story I have never told in detail before. It begins in my early 50s after separating from my husband of 25 years and rediscovering sex in a new relationship. My libido was strong, my e…
We Love Each Other But We Are Not Having Sex. Now What? (Part 1) [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 18:20
Are you ever going to have sex again?It is the question so many couples in midlife are quietly asking. Sex has become obligatory. Or it has disappeared. Hormones have shifted. Resentment has built. Communication has brok…
Dating After 50? Ask These 10 Questions First | Ep. 155 [not-audio_url] [/not-audio_url]

Duration: 6:20
Dating after divorce in your 50s can feel exciting, terrifying, and exhausting all at once. In this episode, I share 10 powerful questions you need to ask yourself before you get emotionally invested.These questions help…